Skunkgal - Too Much Skunk In Your Junk

why i’m watching samurai girl

asian samurai girl is a 6-hour miniseries airing on abc family about a japanese princess who has ninja skills and has to fulfill some destiny and with her trusty white friends, seeks revenge for her brother’s death.

as you can imagine, the series is kind of bad. for example:

1. the acting sucks 60% of the time.
2. the writing sucks 80% of the time. actually, i can’t really watch this thing w/ out tivo b/c i need to fast forward through so many parts.
3. the samurai girl is supposed to be japanese (duh), yet the actress who plays samurai girl is named jamie chung (from real world fame). if you know anything about asians, you know that ms. chung being japanese = unlikely.
4. in fact, none of the many “japanese” characters on the show are japanese. i mean, you couldn’t even find one?
5. all the slant-eyed characters are non-americans, yet remarkably none have accents. FOR REAARRS?
6. in the show, samurai girl is supposed to be 19. the attractive white man she’s supposed to be shacking up w/ in the end is at minimum 24. apparently this is not supposed to strike anyone as sort of gross.
7. samurai girl’s name is “heaven.” having to listen to bad actors ask “where’s heaven?” over and over kind of hurts my ears.
8. it’s on abc family. before friday night, i didn’t even know what channel abc family was even on.

so many things wrong, yet here i am, setting my tivo for the last 2 hours tomorrow night and blogging about it. yikes. in my defense, there is nothing else on tv right now, and the white knight that i imagine will end up w/ young heaven is michael from roswell (circa 1999). so no one watched roswell, i’m sure, and neither did i, but i always liked reading about it. it’s a show that was riding the coattails of buffy and about aliens and shit, and it also produced katherine heigl. i hear she’s a big deal now.

here’s brendan fehr before and after:

now i’m not really recommending anyone watch samurai girl, but i just thought i’d record for posterity that this is happening. thanks to the aforementioned tivo, i think i’ll have actually logged about 3.5 hours of time watching the entire 3-day, 6-hour event, so thank god for technology! there are few and far between shows that feature asians, and even if they do the whole martial arts/yellow fever thing here, i gotta support my people — even if my people are real world hasbeens who sell their bodies (image search “jamie chung” and check out all the pics that were amazingly too inappropriate for this blog) and whose next project is the movie “dragonball” of “z” fame. (btw, does anyone else think she looks like a young lucy liu or a more asian kristen kreuk?)

anyways, if you think i’m pathetic, someone should have hung out w/ me on friday or i wouldn’t have been sent to these depths. that is all.

what’s with all the violent crime?

if crime is going down in large cities (ny, la), why is it rising in so many midsize cities? according to the atlantic, it’s apparently b/c of “one of the most ambitious antipoverty programs of recent decades” — shutting down the projects and dispersing poor (and black) people all over.

notes on this article:
1) this is a very uncomfortable subject that no one wants to talk about
2) there’s no real explanation in this story why the dispersal creates more crime (destabilizing effect? but maybe i didn’t read the story close enough).
3) one more reason why white people suck:

A few months ago, Harris went to a Sunday-afternoon picnic at Uptown Square, the development built on the site of the old Hurt Village project, to conduct a survey. The picnic’s theme was chili cook-off. The white people, mostly young couples, including little kids and pregnant wives, sat around on Eddie Bauer chairs with beer holders, chatting. The black people, mostly women with children, were standing awkwardly around the edges. Harris began asking some of the white people the questions on her survey: Do you lack health insurance? Have you ever not had enough money to buy medication? One said to her, “This is so sad. Does anyone ever answer ‘yes’ to these questions?”—Harris’s first clue that neighbors didn’t talk much across color lines.

stuff asian people like

riffing off the “stuff white people like” site, a white friend and i thought, “wouldn’t it be funny to make an asian site?”

but damnit, someone else did it already.

obviously the white people site went viral last week, and some crafty asians were quicker to the punch than i was. oh well. i’ll offer up my own (and coop’s) ideas here. maybe someone else can expand upon them.

asian girls like: white guys
asian girls like: black guys
asian boys like: asian girls
asian boys like: shakira
asian people like: betamax/laserdisc
asian people like: violin
asian people like: noncontact sports (tennis, golf)
asian people like: break dancing
asian people like: louis vuitton

i don’t think i’m actually asian enough to properly write the asian people blog, but i can expound upon these if the demand is high enough.

if you had to pick one blog …

i would say, read this one: Stuff White People Like

sample:
#51 Living by the water
#46 The Sunday New York Times
#45 Asian Fusion Food
#44 Public Radio
#41 Indie Music
#39 Netflix
#37 Renovations
#36 Breakfast Places
#35 The Daily Show/Colbert Report
#33 Marijuana
#29 80s Night
#24 Wine
#23 Microbreweries
#17 Hating their parents
#14 Having Black Friends
#11 Asian Girls

GREAT find, andy!