check out the sweet email i just got from work. apparently they are going to bomb shit near the key bridge for washington field, a new show. and it bolsters my point that DC is the new coolest place to set tv shows. take that LA.

Subject: Notice on TV filming event

For the filming of a TV pilot, there will be a simulated explosion on Wednesday, March 25 between 9:30 a.m. and noon near Key Bridge in the District. The explosion will produce a 20 to 30′ fireball that will last for approximately 2 minutes.

Please pass along this information to others appropriate. The Department of Homeland Security and D.C. Police and Fire departments have been notified, along with the Washington Airports Authority. The Virginia State Patrol and Arlington Police Department will be contacted. If you have additional questions, contact Kathy Hollinger or Burt Warner with the DC Film Office at 202-727-6608.

The explosion will take place on the Potomac River just north of the Key Bridge and Jack’s Boathouse (K / Water Street, NW under the Whitehurst Freeway). In the scene to be filmed, there will be six (6) sculling boats on the Potomac River and one of them blows up.

CBS Paramount television is filming a pilot titled “Washington Field.” This is a new television series about the elite Washington field office of the FBI and a team of agents with exceptional and diverse skills who are called together for only the most critical cases.

Jeanne Saddler
Director, Office of Public Affairs
Metropolitan Washington

my favorite is the description of the show. b/c we all want to watch a “team of agents with mediocre and similar skills who are called together for everyday interstate theft and low-level racketeering cases.”

also, i’m annoyed it takes 3.5 hours to film a 2 minute bombing sequence. well that’s 3.5 hours i won’t be working …

today is it. the last day of battlestar ever. i could write something elegiac and wonderful, but i don’t think it’d do it justice. i’m just going to mark its passing in time. like a death in the family. i should have taken bereavement leave.

HOLY CRAP.

Pilot News: Minka Kelly and Jason Dohring Hot for CW’s Body

Friday Night Lights’ Minka Kelly has landed the female lead on Body Politic, the CW’s pilot about an absurdly pretty gathering of D.C. up-and-comers.

Kelly will play Hope, a sweet Michigan gal who, after her mother dies, moves to Washington to connect with the father she never knew — a senator-turned-attorney general (played by Animal House’s Tim Matheson).

Also on board for Body Politic is Jason Dohring, playing a reporter for the Washington Post. Following his run as Veronica Mars’ Logan, Dohring most recently had a series regular role on CBS’ short-lived Moonlight.

let’s discuss how great this is.

1. minka kelly (friday night lights) is from MICHIGAN and moves to DC. sound familiar!?!? unfortunately, no one from michigan looks like her. actually, no one from dc looks like her.
2. jason dohring (veronica mars) is a washington post reporter. hahahahahhaahahahhaha. now we’re definitely in twilight zone. aside from the wire, the portrayal of journalists is always a travesty.
3. is it hard to believe that her father became a senator even w/ a bastard/estranged child? this plot point is actually likely the least absurd of the three. i mean, david vitter is still a senator …

i’m just … really excited about this. i just hope they don’t mangle DC geography like they always do. do you think they’ll be partying it up at smith point? or vomiting on the sidewalks of adams morgan? and let’s predict how many romantic strolls they’ll be taking on the steps of the lincoln memorial or along the tidal basin. dear body politic, here’s some advice: locals NEVER take leisurely visits to the mall unless their cousins are in town. way too many fat tourists waddling along the wide sidewalks or, even worse, riding on segways. i bet a lot of the action will happen in georgetown, where no young washington post reporter could possibly afford to live. unless it’s in a horrible group house or actually glover park.

i think i’d be a pretty badass consultant on a show like this. HIRE ME.

all of a sudden dc is the best place to make shit blow up, like in 24 and heroes, almost to the point where the two shows are interchangeable. in previews for next week’s heroes, you actually have parkman saying “we’re running out of time!” with a bomb strapped on him. which show am i watching again? jesus.

i just wish they didn’t mangle DC geography, especially 24. they’re on the south side of the potomac river? too bad the potomac runs north-south. and when the news report says, “there’s been an explosion in the white house,” they show a picture of the the capitol building? come on now. i hope that was just creative splicing by the dude who put together the preview.

and while we’re talking about how absurd 24 is, let’s discuss its serious gender problem. there’ve been many words written about how all the women on 24 either die or ruin everything or both (exceptions: chloe and maybe this new woman renee), but the blonde FBI turncoat really takes the cake.

i ask: what the hell was the point of her existence. in no way was she necessary for the plot. she hacked into the servers? the guy could easily have done it. it’s not as if we know what their jobs are anyway. she took the fall for the guy so he could get away and wreak more havoc? nope, he got caught 20 minutes later. she exists to show how slimy he is? maybe, but he’s been out of the picture the past couple episodes. best character-building, evaaaa. she acts hysterical and ridiculous to follow the trend of all 24 women? yup.

btw, this is john carradine’s granddaughter. weird.

ABC is officially the worst station ever.

eli stone, pushing daisies, and now this.

and yet the truly awful grey’s anatomy lives. i would never want any of those wahoos as my doctor. or friend. or really around me eating a muffin.

unless something crazy happens during tonight’s telecast, i will not be writing about the oscars after this post. i don’t care who wins what. i don’t think it’s a particularly useful debate whether the dark knight is better than slumdog millionaire, and even if i wanted to argue about superficial nonsense like that, it doesn’t require me to watch a 3-hour pat on the back.

i am, however, grateful that the oscars exist. the event formally elevates into the public consciousness movies that may not otherwise have an audience. do i think the 5 nominated movies are the best 5 movies of the year? no, but all 5 are probably at least worth seeing, and if the academy convinces a couple people to watch milk instead of the mummy #3, then it has done all the world a favor.

following in that vein are the best short documentaries. the national archives here in DC have been screening (for free) all the documentaries this past week, and this afternoon, they showed the 4 documentary shorts that were nominated for oscars this year. i’m not sure how the rest of you can get your hands on these films, but they are definitely worth watching. and with runtimes around 30 minutes, they’re shorter than a tivo’d episode of american idol or some other shitty tv show.

general thoughts: 3 of these films made me cry cry cry. i cried more than an above average episode of friday night lights (i don’t think i’ve ever watched FNL w/ out crying …). india is also very trendy right now.

The Conscience of Nhem En
loosely about a guy (nhem en) who was a khmer rouge photographer at s-21, a high school-turned-prison, where 17,000 cambodians were killed. starting at age 16, he took the pictures of the prisoners before they were tortured and executed. weird to think someone simultaneously sympathetic and slimy. this might have been my favorite of the 4, probably b/c it was the most brutal and unrelenting.

Smile Pinki
doctors in india do hundreds of thousands of surgeries to fix children with cleft lip and palate. for free. pinki is one of the angel children they follow through the film. i’m sure the filmmakers were drooling all over themselves when they saw her. she is a gorgeous 5yo except for the fact that her lip is stuck to her nose and her teeth are all f’d up. when i think about it, it’s basically a glorified makeover show — dr. 90210, but with poor people who don’t speak english.

The Witness – From the Balcony of Room 306
the story of MLK’s assassination, but from the POV of rev. samuel kyles (far left, i think). this film was incredibly manipulative, but in the best way possible. they show a clip of MLK’s last speech, the mountaintop speech:

We’ve got some difficult days ahead. But it doesn’t matter with me now. Because I’ve been to the mountaintop. And I don’t mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I’m not concerned about that now. I just want to do God’s will. And He’s allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I’ve looked over. And I’ve seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land. And I’m happy, tonight. I’m not worried about anything. I’m not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.

cue me wiping away tears and thinking, “the promised land? sweet jesus, the promised land is here!”

this movie might have sucked if obama didn’t win the election.

The Final Inch
volunteers work day and night to get people in india to take the polio vaccine. there are some similar themes in smile pinki, but the final inch is no where near as well executed. plus, this film was incredibly condescending: “ugh, indian people are stupid to not trust our vaccines.” i paraphrase, but that’s basically the message i got. i hope this doesn’t win, and i’m pretty sure it won’t.

in conclusion, i’m sure no one will get to see these documentaries, rendering these mini-reviews irrelevant. but you should. if you could. b/c i said so.

i realize that obama has important things to say, but here’s same advice for 44:

do not let your presser go longer than its allotted time. in an age of tivo, that extra two minutes you spent telling us the world sucks is two minutes that pushes 24 and heroes out of its normal tivo’d spot. that’s two minutes i haven’t seen and two minutes that have disgruntled me, even more than usual.

as jimmy says:
jimmy: the last thing you want is to piss off the tv-watching public
jimmy: everyone watches tv
jimmy: i bet his approval rating goes down b/c of it
jimmy: like 3 points

as it should.

working A LOT and watching tv. some tv highlights (work highlights? no such thing):

1. i’ve deleted “the closer” from tivo. boring. and chuck. i just don’t care about anything in that show.
2. burn notice, law and order franchises, criminal minds, life, and life on mars are all fine. like comfort food. gossip girl is a step up from these shows, and dan, you dirty dog, you.
3. “lie to me” is sort of ok. once i learn how to identify all liars, i will stop watching the show.
4. heroes: is it just me or was that last episode pretty good? looks like the writer who left to run “eli stone” (dearly departed, those bastards at ABC) is now back at heroes, and it’s good again. peter and mohinder still suck, but i was digging the xmen persecution stuff. derivative, but compelling.
5. 24 didn’t record this week b/c it was boxed out by “the closer.” this is why i deleted that show off tivo.
6. bones was excellent. deirdre lovejoy: you are not that attractive, but i will watch anything you’re in.
7. 90210 and privileged: two shows i have no business watching, but find enough snippets of joy to fastforward through the bad parts just to get to the gems. adriana, i love you.
8. and what’s with my fridays being totally blown up? i’m not making any weekend plans until the end of march.
literally my favorite 3 shows right now are friday night lights (i test the strength of an episode by counting how many times it makes me cry. last ep: 4 times!), battlestar galactica (6 eps left. GAH), and the sarah connor chronicles, which returns next week on this new night. then joss whedon’s highly anticipated (by me) “dollhouse” is set to launch next week, and suddenly fridays officially became the “kick the roommate out so i can watch tv in peace” night.

unfortunately fridays are where shows usually go to die. why can’t my tastes be more mainstream? better yet, why does everyone else in the world watch total crap? bah.

damn you simon/paula/randy/new girl.