Skunkgal - Too Much Skunk In Your Junk

i am going to be a wife ‘failure’

via boing boing

So far, my score = -17. this is only the first page of a longer test, but i’d say the future looks bleak.

RIP dear virtual friend

last week we all said goodbye to barber college, a blog of many talents. it was topical, insulting, oftentimes just so wrong.

with the elan of those of us who used to work at their college newspaper and are obviously longing for times past, barber college was able to say out loud what all our sick minds were already thinking — it was just way smarter about it. its presence will be missed, and in honor of its passing, i bring you highlights from perhaps its most lasting legacy: myspace hottie of the week.

first, the reason why this was a good idea, from the sire himself:

All you goody two-shoes out there probably think this is a really mean thing to do, but peep these reasons why it’s not:
1) People who put personal information on sites like MySpace are asking to be judged.
2) Do you think they really care what I think?
3) I’m actually trying to help them by pointing out their shortcomings so that they may overcome them.
4) Facebook is infinitely better than MySpace. MySpace pages look like they were designed by my two-year-old son Jerry (Gerry?), and he has phenylketonuria, thanks to his mother.
5) The Internet was invented for making fun of people you don’t even know.
6) It’s fun!

the hotties:

1. the first one. excerpt: “MacDonalds [sic] or Burger King: Burger King (MacDonalds [sic] supports abortion)” Fuck that shit. I’ll take some Mickey-D’s Fetus Fries over a Whopper Jr. any day of the week.
2. the clubber. excerpt: “The warning: You might get herpes if you read beyond this point.”
3. the huckabee lover. excerpt: “Pamm has this little box that supposedly allows one to enter a dollar amount, click “donate,” and instantly give money to the Huckabee campaign. I decided to call her bluff. I tried to enter $100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 in the box, but then it told me there was a $500 limit.

why, j-ho, did you have to grow a soul?

cruel, cruel anorexia joke

check out the web ad that popped up for me when i was reading this story about anorexia sites that have been banned from france. an excerpt from one of the blogs, which teaches girls how to lie to their doctors and which foods are easiest to vomit:

“I am the only person who can tell you the truth,” the blog says. “Everyone else lies to you because they love you but I’m going to tell you a secret: in the depths of their heart, they are disappointed with what has happened to you. Their talented girl has become fat and lazy. But I am going to change all that!”

that’s right girls. that thin model isn’t even looking at you because you’re not thin enough. thanks bluefly.com. thanks.

so many levels of sad:
1. the existence of these sites
2. france’s complete disregard of free speech
3. this tragic ad placement (although matt had an ad for ocean city, md. whatever)

nice work bandyk, for the tip and insight.

remember: kissinger is still a bush adviser

based on game theory, a missioned codenamed “giant lance“–designed by henry kissinger and richard nixon–was supposed to make the commies think the president was just crazy enough to go nuclear.

October 1969, however, was different. This was the only moment we know of when a president decided that it made strategic sense to pretend to launch World War III.

H. R. Haldeman, Nixon’s chief of staff, wrote in his diary that Kissinger believed evidence of US irrationality would “jar the Soviets and North Vietnam.” Nixon encouraged Kissinger to expand this approach. “If the Vietnam thing is raised” in conversations with Moscow, Nixon advised, Kissinger should “shake his head and say, ‘I am sorry, Mr. Ambassador, but [the president] is out of control.” Nixon told Haldeman: “I want the North Vietnamese to believe that I’ve reached the point that I might do anything to stop the war. We’ll just slip the word to them that for God’s sake, you know Nixon is obsessed about Communism. We can’t restrain him when he is angry — and he has his hand on the nuclear button’ — and Ho Chi Minh himself will be in Paris in two days begging for peace.”

GIANT LANCE. hilarious.

avoiding the bus

if i do ride, i always pass by this building, which pretty much sums up the entire experience.

k street

if you were curious, this building is on 17th and K streets.

channeling mariah

but this is terrible.

thanks maggie

vote for samuel berry

his platform

his view of hillary

“I would argue that a woman’s role as nurturer and object of desire, as well as her less imposing stature, tend to confuse, or even vitiate, her authority.”

in other news, people are absolutely horrible:
Driver drops bid to sue family of boy he killed

thanks matt and maggie for the heads up.