the myth: i hate animals
February 26, 2009, 2:40 am
ok people, let’s get something straight: i do not hate animals.
in fact, i love animals: i love this giant rat, and this video could be the most incredible thing i’ve seen all year.
nature is amazing. it’s a snake giving birth to a hippo through its mouth. and don’t you imagine that snake seeing that carcass and thinking, “dude, i could totally eat that”? i do. animals are great.
cute cuddly pets, however, are not that great. this is where people get confused about my supposed hatred toward animals. “cute” animals get a disproportionate amount of love and adoration. i believe in attention redistribution and go out of my way to love reptiles and rodents and shun cats, dogs, and hampsters.
i am an animal socialist, and the oversentimental, antipragmatic response to furry pets makes me want to overreact and dislike them. perhaps that is hysterical and reactionary in and of itself, but, then again, i did just hate on girl scout cookies two posts ago. this should surprise no one.
