Skunkgal - Too Much Skunk In Your Junk

predators

just saw predators today, and long story short, if at any point the idea of a predators movie sounded interesting to you, you might as well see this. if you’re more of an english patient type, then maybe not. the experience is much heightened if you play the “what order will people die” game. for the record, i was pretty wrong, and oh yeah, adrien brody gets the gratuitously shirtless award of the year so far, even beating out bradley cooper in the A-team.

couldn’t find a screen shot of brody from predators, but i did find this:

a little grainy, but that makes it better, no?

more importantly, i was excited to see alice braga in this film. you might remember her from the brazilian film city of god, and she has the michelle rodriguez badass thing going for her. now she and michelle can split all the hispanic-looking, gun-wielding tough chicks in hollywood b/c god knows rodriguez was getting a little overexposed (girlfight, resident evil, the fast and the furious, blue crush, bloodrayne, SWAT, lost, etc.) i’m having a hard time imagining penelope cruz or salma hayek drawing green alien blood anytime soon.

this also got me thinking, are hispanic women (i.e. 2 if you include braga, although i supposed it’s not really a trend yet) overrepresented in the female badass category? when i think “hollywood actress in action film” i come up w/ michelle rodriguez, angelina jolie, maybe milla jovovich, and maybe michelle yeoh or zhang ziyi, although do they really count? sigourney weaver and linda hamilton might also count, but they’re old, and hence don’t matter. here is a shitty list i googled, which really says less about perceptions of hispanic women in movies and more about the lack of badass female action heroes in general.

i went to sundance and all i got was smoldering hatred for politics

i’m taking 7 classes this quarter and am simultaneously looking for a dream job, hence the lack of blogging. however, even though i am super busy, i found time to go to park city, utah, with 600 of my closest wharton friends. and while everyone went skiing and drinking, i saw films, and of course, mostly geeky ones.

no time to really think this through, so i’m just going to spit out the stuff i saw as i remember it. my strategy was to avoid films that would see wide release, since i’d be able to see them anyway. instead, i tried to see movies that wouldn’t make it out of the film festival circuit, but were still half-decent. in the end, i saw 2 documentaries and 10 short films.

the fence: never have i shaken my head in disgust so many times than during 30 minute documentary short about the border fence b/w the U.S. and mexico. not only does it offend my ideological sensibilities, but it didn’t work. it keeps no one from trying to cross, but it does make it more dangerous. spending $1 billion on something that doesn’t do anything is infuriating. yesterday i bought a moisturizer for $10 and it doesn’t work. doesn’t moisturize. i was SO MAD. now multiply that by 100,000,000.

climate refugees: this feature-length documentary warns us all about all the people who will be displaced by climate change. watch the F out b/c the dark-skinned and/or slanty eyed people are COMING TO AMERICA b/c their home has been flooded/parched/ravaged by hurricane, etc. imagine inconvenient truth but even more manipulative and with distractingly flashy graphics.

on a related note, lester brown and barbara boxer were at the screening and participated in a Q&A at the end. everyone asks me about which celebrities i saw at sundance. i want to say that i saw lester brown, the leading authority on environmental sustainability, but no one will know what i’m talking about. and they will judge me. instead, i just say i saw jonah hill w/ a hot girl. i’m so ashamed.

tub: consider this insult: “man, you whack off so much in the shower, there are probably babies down in the drain.” then you make a short film about that. this series of events = tub.

logorama: french filmmaker takes hundreds of real logos and animates them in this logo-riffic alternate reality. big boy is an elementary school trouble maker, the aol guys roam the streets, and michelin men are cops. meanwhile, ronald mcdonald is a sociopathic, gun-toting lunatic (think, the joker). anyway, this whole animated ode to marketing and commercialization was a cute commentary on culture … until there was a huge earthquake in the story, and we get to see the ground split apart, buildings fall, and characters get crushed. worst. timing. ever.

not sure if anything else i saw was note worthy, so that’s all i’m writing for now.

BONUS:

this is almost a month late, but i thought i’d do ten words or fewer recaps of the half-dozen movies i saw over winter break. in no particular order…

avatar: imax sold out. saw regular. boo. blue people.
invictus: mandela. rugby. damon wears short shorts.
the blind side: white lady with nice ass saves giant black boy. ravens.
princess and the frog: first black princess turns into frog in first 10 minutes.
up in the air: clooney plays self. naked woman. dad next to me. awkward.
sherlock holmes: lame

iron man 2

this reminds me that i need to see “sherlock holmes.”

rourke looks amazing, but scarlett johansson as an action villain? b/c that worked so well for “the island.”

credit old man bandyk for sending me the trailer.

district 9 and inglourious basterds

since i am delaying my homework, i’ll just write about the last two movies i saw.

apparently i’m on a violent kick. or maybe i’m trying to prove my masculine street cred in b-school. both were perfectly good action movies. i recommend both as long as you don’t mind various body parts being blown up and blood splatter on the camera lens.

more importantly, quentin tarantino isn’t completely obnoxious w/ his pretension in inglourious basterds. but i do suggest he seek some type of therapy.

and it’s official, diane kruger cannot act, even in her native tongue. i guess lessons from nicholas cage on the set of national treasure didn’t do her much good.

disney buys marvel

if you haven’t heard.

i’d kill to see a marvel/pixar super movie …

speaking of final destination

ian points to a new one, titled the final destination, aka final destination 4. IT’S IN 3D.

it should be noted that i am in no way endorsing this film. i just can’t get over the idea that they all must die horrific deaths. what’s wrong with a heart attack?

child is sole survivor of a plane crash

from the nyt:

News reports from Yemen said the child was 5 years old and had been taken to a hospital but did not give further details. Later reports said the child may have been 14 years old. Neither report could be independently confirmed.

this is definitely the opening scene of a sci-fi or horror movie … off the top of my head, samurai girl, final destination, probably the back story of one of the x-men mutants …

oscars try to bait interest, still irrelevent

the academy of motion picture arts will feature 10 nominees for the best picture category instead of the current 5.

why this doesn’t matter:
1. personally, i do not watch. since i don’t watch them, they obviously don’t matter.
2. we have no idea if this will effect the outcome of the best picture winner. statistically it should, but then again, we have no idea how close the tallies have historically been anyway. we actually have very little idea how the academy works. it’s the era of obama. transparency, people!
3. will this improve the academy’s relevance to the rest of the world? um, no. the same 6,000 people are voting, and their taste is just as out-of-touch as last year.

why it does matter:
1. we assume this will include more mainstream movies. dark knight and wall-e were excluded from last year’s list, but frost/nixon made it? i didn’t watch frost/nixon, but come on.
2. more mainstream movies will mean higher ratings for the telecast since the tv people assume people will want to watch an award show with films they’ve actually seen. or heard of. “the reader? isn’t that the one w/ kate winslet’s giant nipples?”
3. higher ratings means more money for abc. maybe.
4. the telecast will be thatmuch longer. ugh.
5. five more movies will get a PR bump. while the “awesomeness” of a nomination will likely be diluted, at least for now, it will be a boon for the films that might not have made the cut previously.

so in conclusion, winners = abc and movie studios; losers = the integrity of the academy? i just laughed out loud at what i just wrote.