Skunkgal - Too Much Skunk In Your Junk

culpepper says his goal is to win the NFC north

ok, daunte.

i think you’ve been drinking too much of rb kevin smith’s kool-aid, if you know what i mean.

my bold prediction: i am confident we will beat our record from last eyar.

lions: 0-16

YES WE DID.
L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L

lions thanksgiving liveblog

refresh for the latest lions commentary. i guarantee i give up before halftime, but i’ll try real hard anyway.

12:40: game starts
12:42: 2nd play of the game. lions fumble the ball. yup.
12:44: titans long run leads to titans touchdown. we are one minute and 30 seconds into this game. good god.
12:45: awesome cadillac commercial w/ lt. daniels from the wire in it. best thing of the game so far.
12:47: titans kick. take a knee. only way we’re gonna get 20 yards in one play.
**note: nice neon blue throwback jerseys. i like your style.
12:52: calvin johnson is long lean and beautiful. jason hanson is bald, pasty but also beautiful. best long-range kicker ever. (lots of practice). score = 7-3.
12:53: brother changes the channel to the xmen movie. ian mckellen, take that stupid hat off.
12:58: ugh. 55-yard run. “virtually untouched.” are you people F’ING SERIOUS?
**note: kerry collins looks just like greg germann, a quintessential “that guy.” you might remember him from talladega nights.

1:08: detroit three and out leads to titans ball AGAIN. omg titans with 100 yards rushing already. 10 minutes into the game.
1:15: why do we even pretend we have an offensive line? god i feel bad for daunte culpepper. 17-yard int td. 21-3.
**note: when these announcers have to do cheesy promos for shitty shows, do you think they want to die inside every time? “people are under the spell of simon baker. he’s so dreamy.”
1:23: harris w/ the 13yard pooch punt. oh wait. we’re on our own 10. damnit.
4:30: uh. woke up from a nap. what happened?
the end.

detroit could lose a sports team? GAH

drew sharp is an idiot, but reading these words still makes my heart sink:

It wouldn’t be a surprise if Detroit loses at least one of its four professional sports teams within the next 10 years because ownership sells to an outside interest and the franchise moves to an area with a stronger economic base.

If you don’t think that’s possible, then you’re not looking at the current local economic situation with a realistic eye.

ok, but this is where sharp gets on the crazy train:

Detroit and Phoenix are the only two cities that support four professional sports teams in four separate facilities. That requires four teams capable of finding enough corporate backing for those all-important luxury suites in four different stadiums/arenas to keep the coffers filled without sharing the facility operational costs with another tenant.

That task becomes much tougher for teams in the aftermath of this economic crisis — especially in Detroit.

The idea of the NFL waiving television blackouts in Detroit has been nationally perceived as the equivalent of a government bailout. But the difference between Congress stepping in to assist the automotive industry and the Lions getting a break from the NFL is that there’s no competition for the NFL. It’s a monopoly. It possesses full marketing control and can dictate, without competitive challenge, the market price for its product.

That’s why it cannot turn a blind eye to what’s occurring in Detroit.

huh? i definitely don’t understand this analogy. blackouts exist to encourage people to go to games. how is lifting it like a bailout? the NFL is not taking its money and giving it to detroit, it’s just loosening a tactic used to create incentives to go to games. if your incentive isn’t working, then you might as well make money from tv advertising, right? and what does it being a monopoly have anything to do w/ anything? huh?

and here’s more nonsensity (yeah, i made up that word).

There’s an obvious reason why the NFL hasn’t gotten a new franchise in Los Angeles: It cannot guarantee sellouts in the country’s second-largest media market. The NFL’s primary business objective remains establishing a premium local value for tickets of home games.

Los Angeles residents have long understood that there’s more available to them on a sunny, warm fall Sunday than paying top dollar for an NFL football ticket.

Detroit residents may soon discover there’s more available to them on a cold, cloudy fall Sunday, too. That’s precisely why the NFL cannot afford to lose a Midwestern stalwart like Detroit.

are home game tickets really the main revenue source of the NFL? i can’t find the dollars for this, but it seems that advertising and licensing would be a huge deal, too. LA is a shitty sports town filled w/ transplants with no loyalty. what a horrible analogy. so the lions haven’t sold out some of their games this season. WE ARE 0-10 and have been horrible for YEARS. the fact we were selling out games at the beginning of the year is a testament to loyalty that i doubt even the NFL would ignore. detroit is such a homer town. if they can get their record up close to .500, every game would start to sell out again.

i also like this: “Detroit residents may soon discover there’s more available to them on a cold, cloudy fall Sunday, too.”

haha. um no, they won’t find jack shit.

drew sharp sucks.

USA! USA! USA!

michigan with a ridiculous win.
northwestern is #1 in the big ten. (WHAT?)
lions can’t lose this sunday (bye).

if you let out a primal scream in your empty apartment, did it really exist?

not a bad weekend. i love america.

millen had us by the balls

if i had them, he would have had mine.

here’s a classic pic but altered to reflect the times.

now we’re free!

(this one’s for you E.S.T. happy belated.)

i broke the camel’s back

i don’t know if you heard, but william clay ford sr. took my advice: millen is fired.

and so ends a historic era for the detroit lions. 31-84. the next one might not be much better, but it will be different. maybe.

all this millen firing news has me wistful for michigan and detroit. this photo is quintessential detroit. hyperbolic, desperate, self-aware, and unashamed. “unashamed?” you ask? of course the lions’ drafting and gameplay are shameful in a “what a shame” kind of way, but lions fans are never ashamed of that shame. those paper bags are a big middle finger to shame.

in the detroit sports family, the lions are like that sad but sweet thalidomide baby that you can’t be disappointed in. big brother red wings got that sports scholarship, the charming pistons just graduated from princeton, and the mercurial tigers found momentary local success playing bass guitar for that ironic hipster band. but for some reason, mommy and daddy love that retard flipper baby the most. pick up those legos? can’t. 3rd down with 7 yards to go? throw a 5-yard pass. yet for some reason, a week 2 loss to green bay hurts so much more than an NBA semifinal loss to the cavs. WHY? maybe lebron is just that good. i digress.

perhaps what makes us so special is how our love transcends skill or logic. we’re not the only city to adore our shitty team, but we do it in a special way. some cities are upset by failure b/c they feel entitled to success (looking at you eagles and red sox fans). others are frustrated because they are so close to being good. not only are we no where near competence, but we also don’t even think we deserve to win. don’t get me wrong, we really want to be .500. but deserve it? no.

the redskins have a similar complex, but let’s be honest, their mascot is really offensive and they don’t have an awesome fight song. welcome to 0 A.M. (after millen). forward down the field!

fire millen

someone out there loves the lions right now, especially after that sweet game against the 49ers yesterday.

i’m sure the wiki entry will eventually go back to normal (maybe when we get to the playoffs?), but it’s fun while it lasts.

in other news, bill ford jr thinks his dad is senile. other people on wikipedia also do not like his dad so much.

i prefer to read that “loser” as more of a “LOOOOSAH” with my fingers shaped as an “L” on my forehead, as opposed to the objective fact that he loses a lot of games. at least michigan state beat notre dame this weekend.