Skunkgal - Too Much Skunk In Your Junk

very short tv review

best new shows:
glee: they’re actually singing!
the good wife: never a julianna marguellies fanatic, but she’s excellent in the show. plus, josh from sports night!
the vampire diaries: reminds me of buffy, but WHERE IS IT GOING? also, better than true blood. yeah i said it.
i also watch melrose place: i’m not really recommending it, but i feel the need to admit this out loud.

still watching:
bones, gossip girl, 90210 (with heavy emphasis on the fast-forward button), law and order, law and order SVU, criminal minds, lie to me, project runway, it’s always sunny, 30 rock, castle, and dollhouse.

i just added NCIS: los angeles b/c i’m oddly curious to watch chris odonnell and ll cool j catch criminals … no matter how boring the original NCIS is.

i’ve also heard good things about modern family but i just tried to tivo it and that time slot is already double booked. comedies get shafted by police procedurals any day.

guitar hero and pinkie strength

my neighbor across the street just broke up w/ his live-in girlfriend, which means she took her stuff, which includes a tv, which means he has all these video games that can’t be played. long story short, i now play guitar hero III every day.

in my rediscovery of guitar hero, i am revising what i’ve always said about the game and its relation to past experience with a musical instrument. i still believe musicians have a slight advantage, but not for the reason i first thought.

i assumed musical training instilled a better sense of rhythm, making the dots easier to follow. but i’m pretty terrible at the rhythmic sections, and the loud clicking of the paddle actually overpowers the rhythm of the music. even if i were fantastically rhythmically inclined, i still listen to the guitar clicks (which are a fraction of a second ahead of the beat), not the music.

where i totally rock are the sections that depend heavily on pinkie use and left-hand shifting. i’d guess guitar players are naturally good at this, as are people who can play stringed instruments (holla, cello). i don’t know enough about woodwind and brass, but i imagine there’s some benefit (especially w/ constant pinkie use, but perhaps not with the shifting). the same goes w/ piano.

obviously slavish dedication to the game and hundreds of hours of practice will overcome any pinkie disadvantage one might have, but i’m sure my 7ish years of intense cello-play has enabled me to find great success in impressing boys with my virtual shredding skills.

if i were on that episode of gossip girl where serena and vanessa play guitar hero at some lame party, i’d f’ em both up.

i like ‘privileged’; don’t judge me yet

perhaps i’m jumping the gun here (life on mars premieres tonight), but i’m going to have to come out and say that the cw’s privileged is my favorite new show this year. granted, the pickings have been slim, and of the 12 new shows that previously piqued my interest, one has already been canceled (do not disturb), two have been axed from my viewing list (raising the bar, fringe), and four have been getting such mediocre/bad reviews that i can’t muster energy to even try to watch them (knight rider, valentine, kath & kim, my own worst enemy). that leaves two i have yet to watch (easy money, life on mars) and three that i like enough to keep on so far (90210, the mentalist, privileged).

every week, 90210 loses me any time the students come on screen and are matched up in their little cutesy, angst-ridden couples (as you can imagine, this happens a lot), but oddly enough, the drugs, divorce, and parentals in the show — rob estes and aunt becky (full house!), particularly — keep me interested enough to record then fastforward through most of the hair-flipping badly delivered dialogue.

the mentalist is fine. it reminds me of “life,” but with not as badass of a lead. it also has robin tunney, who you will remember as the good witch from one of my favorite movies of all time: “the craft.” it was an awesome teen horror movie before scream made teen horror movies cool again. just ahead of its time.

but really, privileged is pretty good. yes i know it follows 90210 (which has problems on its own) and will likely get canceled, but that is exactly why you should watch it and save it. here are the first three reasons, starting w/ the ugliest on the left:

also, i need to convince at least one other person to watch this to discuss, so i don’t have to go to the imdb message boards anymore. this show is obviously not going into the pantheon of greatness, but as long as the lead character can keep her destructive awkwardness to a minimum, i’m on board. please join me!

lastly, even though there is little good new tv to watch, my old staples are doing me just fine.

my faves:
gossip girl
law and order: SVU
terminator: sarah connor chronicles

enjoyable enough:
pushing daisies
criminal minds
heroes (although it continues to test my patience)
it’s always sunny in philadelphia

fall tv: the monday 8pm ultimate battle

starting this week, my life is basically over. between football and fall tv, i’m not sure how i’m actually going to hang out w/ real people. but onto the “reviews” and also some notes on tough decisions i’ll have to make.

the fall lineup organized itself into two basic categories: old shows that excite me, new shows that intrigue me.

shows like comfort food, except they make you kinda stupid, not fat:

gossip girl (cw, monday 8pm, already premiered): very ZOMG-worthy first two episodes for the 2nd season. and if you’re not already, like, totes obsessed, don’t let the subject matter fool you — this is a women’s empowerment tale. no waifish and talentless blonds were harmed when making this show.

bones (fox, wednesday 8pm, already premiered): this easily cracks my top 10 shows of all time, and i’m still catching up on old episodes in syndication. even awkwardly placed DC landmarks still bring a certain thrill. if you like quirk, this is good. if you like crime shows, also good. and the sexual tension b/w bones and booth is so friggin palpable i could lick it up.

terminator (fox, monday 8pm, already premiered): EXCELLENT season premiere. if you like shit blowing up and sloppy (yet effective) religious metaphors, you need to be watching this.

house (fox, tuesday 8pm, sept. 16): i watched last season’s finale and cried. a lot. this is particularly remarkable b/c i don’t watch the show at all. the finale was that good. this is low priority, but my interest is piqued.

it’s always sunny in philadelphia (fx, thursday 10pm, sept. 18): penguin, you’re so funny.

heroes (nbc, monday 9pm, sept. 22): the 2nd season was kind of bad, but i have faith it can redeem itself in the 3rd. as long as young spock has lots of screentime, we’ll be good.

law and order: svu (nbc, tuesday 10pm, sept. 23): no explanation necessary.

criminal minds (cbs, wednesday 9pm, sept. 24): i only started watching this b/c xander (from buffy) was on a couple episodes, but i like it anyway. i usually fastforward through 1/4 of it, so it’s a pretty quick hit.

chuck (nbc, monday 8pm, sept. 29): the first season was pretty good, but it’s a little zanier than my tastes usually run. moment of self-realization: i don’t really do zany. i think it’s why i don’t tend to watch comedies. EW says this season is way better, so i’m excited anyway.

life (nbc, friday 10pm, sept. 29): the guy from band of brothers is still cute (i think i said so last year), and this crime show is just different enough from all the others to justify its existence. also, dan and jenny’s very versatile mom is the lieutenant on the show.

pushing daisies (abc, wednesday 8pm, oct. 1): i was getting tired of this show by the end. nothing ever happened. but i’m all about second chances.

eli stone (abc, tuesday 10pm, oct. 14): this is a VERY zany show, yet i love it. there goes that theory. dear blog readers, will everyone please watch this show so it won’t get canceled?

30 rock (nbc, thursday 9:30pm, oct. 30): i’m so smart that i understand the jokes in 30 rock. yay me.

law and order: ci (usa, thursday 10pm, nov. 6): jeff goldblum fills in for chris noth. hopefully vincent d’inofrio gave birth to that gut he had last season.

new shows. **** for shows i really am truly excited about

raising the bar (tnt, monday 10pm, already premiered): zach morris has horrible long hair and is a public defender. this is an absolutely humorless show and has already been erased from my tivo. zach morris is way too self-righteous. HAVE YOU NO SENSE OF IRONY? and where’s your phone?

90210 (cw, tuesday 8pm, already premiered): i’m not that interested, but it has tristan wilds from the wire and that crazy biotch from nip/tuck. those two alone deserve at least one look into the show. i already missed the premiere, but i think i’ll be ok.

privileged (cw, tuesday 9pm, sept. 9): poor student tutors rich orphaned twins. hilarity ensues? i will watch the first couple episodes since it premieres so early (today), but if things get hectic, it’s out.

do not disturb (fox, wednesday 9:30, sept. 10): jerry oconnell and niecy nash run a hotel. i have a slight crush on niecy since i LOVE clean house, and i still remember when JO was on sliders. why don’t they make sweet tv like that anymore? this is a comedy, and i might not even watch it, but that combo is very very interesting.

easy money (cw, sunday 9pm, sept. 21): a hot adopted son looks for his real parents while helping run the family payday loan company. i will watch this b/c the lead guy used to be on roseanne.

valentine (cw, sunday 8pm, sept. 21): a family of greek gods help human soul mates find eachother. this could be really zany, which maybe is a bad thing. but points for creativity? 70% chance i check this out.

fringe **** (fox, tuesday 9pm, sept. 19): joshua jackson aka pacey goes all x-files on us and fights the supernatural. nice to see him doing something of note since dawson’s creek. better than marrying a crazy scientologist.

knight rider (nbc, wednesday 8pm, sept. 24): um. no.

the mentalist **** (cbs, tuesday 9pm, sept. 29): simon baker solves crimes. simon baker is hot. that’s all it takes, people.

life on mars **** (abc, thursday 10pm, oct. 9): cop time travels to the ’70s and must solve crime the old fashioned way. don’t know who the lead is, but lester from the wire and LISA BONET star. LISA BONET. i repeat, LISA BONET. she makes it an automatic must-watch.

kath & kim (nbc, thursday 8:30pm, oct. 9): i want to want to watch this, but i really really really don’t. shoutout to my fellow michigan wolverine selma blair, but i just don’t think i will be able to stomach this.

my own worst enemy (nbc, monday 10pm, oct. 13): christian slater is living a double life. hilarity ensues. remember when he was in bed of roses? yeah, me neither.

that’s around 16 shows i will definitely be watching, 6 i’ll likely check out, and 1 i’ve already dismissed. that’s so much tv, i kind of hope some of those shows get canceled.

if you look at the time slots, i’m also facing places where my tivo double tuner isn’t going to cut it.

tuesday at 9pm has the mentalist, fringe, and privileged competing for my attention. privileged is likely going to be shafted, mostly b/c it doesn’t seem to have any attractive men in it.

the REAL problem is monday at 8pm. here we have gossip girl, terminator, and chuck. ARGH. i think the solution will be to watch GG and terminator on tivo, and then chuck online. sorry chuck. that’s what you get for being ZANY.

one last thing about zaniness: what’s the diff b/w zany and quirky? i think the most important distinction is the reaction shot of the straight man or woman. a zany reaction to absurdity would be wide-eyed disbelief. the quirky response would be an annoyed eyeroll. and if you know anything about me, the eyeroll is a really important expressive tool of my own.

thanks to entertainment weekly for helping me write this blog post. it still took me forever, though.

very belated generation kill post

since i’m a terrible blogger/person, i don’t find it important at all to write these posts in a timely manner, which is why you’re getting my thoughts on david simon’s new project, generation kill, almost a week late. oh well.

the most important thing you need to know is that i met david simon at tuesday’s screening. imagine some celebrity you’d be really excited to meet such as tina fey, matt damon, or paris hilton. david simon almost rises to that level for me (he created the wire, for godsakes). needless to say i was geeky and excited and quickly well-greased with wine. we talked about stupid stuff, and i didn’t ask for his autograph. i call the night a success.

btw, the miniseries screening was good, too. notable actors in it include bart bass from gossip girl, one of the brothers from the black donnellys, a guy who looks totally like adam from heroes (but isn’t), and many, many people who have guest starred on law & order at some point in their career (who hasn’t).

and should you watch the 7-part miniseries? if you like movies/books about combat, then of course. it’s one of the best of its ilk. if you’re more of a sex & the city kind of person, this is not groundbreaking enough to transcend the genre.

and a total shout out to miss nikki for hooking me up with this screening. look at her working her journalism thing w/ the book’s author. you take it to the house, girrrl.

jeff goldblum on law and order: CI

whoa. whoa. whoa.

jeff goldblum will be replacing chris noth on criminal intent some time soon, and my mind is officially blown. i’m pretty sure this has been the biggest casting news of L&O since … ever? or maybe since chris noth decided to come back. definitely more huge than anthony anderson on the original and only slightly more strange than fred thompson running for president. somehow, though, this is not as awesome as mark-paul gosselaar playing a porn star on SVU (and jesus, what is going on w/ his hair on imdb?). but i digress.

goldblum will be making $250k per episode (for reference, mariska hargitay and chris meloni make $350k, some of the highest paid people in tv), and i have no idea if wheeler (julianne nicholson) will be back.
i haven’t seen goldblum lately, but i’m hoping he channels his character from independence day — geeky and misunderstood scientist, whose daddy is judd hirsh (otherwise now known as the father on numb3rs) and whose love interest is the present-day ELEANOR WALDORF(!)

and if your head is spinning after trying to follow all those names and references … congratulations. you’re normal.

chuck bass, you dirty dog

do you miss gossip girl yet?

white tuxedo

via jezebel with a (white silk) hat tip to maura.

six degrees of blair waldorf

in honor of the best episode of gossip girl so far, i’d just like to indulge the blog in a mini version of my favorite celebrity game that i mostly play in my own head. the game goes something like this:
1. i watch tv/a movie
2. a character looks familiar to me
3. anywhere between 2 seconds to 2 weeks later, i recognize said character (omg. he was totally in that season 4 episode of buffy as that guy in the grocery check out lane.)
4. i feel really, really proud of myself
5a. i try to think of anyone who might also watch the two aforementioned linked shows/movies and text/email/im them
5b. or, since my tastes run to the obscure, i brag to anyone in the immediate vicinity of my pop culture intelligence and aptitude at recognizing faces, even if they don’t have a clue who i’m talking about.

this game gets especially tiresome for the people i’m around the most, and in dc, people tend to be culture retarded (enough w/ the lost and grey’s). all this just means that i slowly isolate myself into a pop culture bubble, never to be heard from again — that is until i’m overwhelmed and compelled to blog about my most recent revelation.

which brings me to GG’s (naturally blond) leighton meester as blair waldorf. she’s actually had bit parts in A LOT of tv shows — 7th heaven, house, law & order (but who hasn’t) — but three appearances gave me OMFG IMDB moments.
1. entourage: justine chapin, the britney rip-off virgin pop star who doesn’t have sex just like bill clinton didn’t have sex w/ monica lewinsky.
2. 24: debbie pendleton, the season 4 girlfriend of turkish terrorist spawn behrooz araz. she gets offed (why does this tea taste like bitter almonds?) for being nosy and white.
3. veronica mars: i won’t bother describing who she was in VM b/c absolutely no one will know what i’m talking about. i’ll just post video: