Skunkgal - Too Much Skunk In Your Junk

tavi vs. terry

facebook has been taunting me with terry gross (of NPR fresh air fame) on my homepage, and every time i glance at that right-hand rail, i repeatedly think of tavi gevinson. anyone see the resemblance?

since i assume everyone who reads this is a nerd, you all know who terry gross is. but who is tavi? tavi is a 13yo fashion blogging wunderkind whose “style” has inexplicably served as muse for designers, and for a while there, she was kinda a big deal in the fashion world. she was like the justin bieber of fashion writing

the tavi phenomenon was particularly ridiculous because 1) her blogging was mediocre at best, and 2) her outfits sorta sucked. at age 11 when she started, she was definitely 5 years ahead of her time in writing ability. i’d even say she writes better than most adults. HOWEVER, no matter how impressive the feat for a newly minted tween, i still don’t want to read a spastic 16yo write about the stupid oversized sweater she wore over a clashing blazer with some ridiculous leggings and neon shoes.

secondly, her outfits are garbage. 11yo’s tend to be tiny, and tiny people have the luxury of wearing a ton of shit layered upon each other, and calling it an outfit. you know what happens when girls with big boobs try to do that? we look fat. when tiny people do it, they are muses. F THAT.

i’m a bit late on the tavi rant (she peaked a while ago), but this whole terry gross thing had me thinking about how stupid people can be. add another item onto that list.

how do i wear these sort of ugly shoes?

i just got these keds leather boots for free (gave some feedback to some big deal guy at keds.com), and i don’t know what to do w/ them. they really straddle the line b/w ugly and cool. when worn under normal jeans, they look like orthopedic shoes. i did get them to look half-edgy when i wore them w/ tight black skinny jeans. any other ideas?

shoes

accessories

for the ball: ixnayed the earrings and went for a big gold necklace instead. there was a matching bracelet, but i didn’t take a good pic of it. or a good pic of my face, apparently.

bling

did i mention i’m going to an official inaugural ball?

i’m going w/ joel who lives with a woman who worked on obama’s florida campaign. all that means is that i’m going to the southern regional ball, which is quite possibly the one ball i’ll feel most uncomfortable at. i’m hoping to run into lots of southern belle types, and then assault them with my northern rage and cynicism.

i hear it’s a crowded, drunken mess, but obama and co. are guaranteed to be there for at least 5 minutes. can’t wait to bathe in his light.

more importantly, let’s talk about the dress and accessories. mama Go brought me one of her twice-worn designer gowns from michigan. it’s a black issey miyake (japanese. reppin the asians), and i believe it retailed for $2,000-3,000. why would anyone spend that much money on a dress? i dunno. mama Go paid $300 or so for it at the department store formerly known as hudsons, so whatevs.

mama Go was worried that the dress would be too long on me since 1) it was too long for her and 2) i’m shorter than her. however, b/c i’m “bigger boned” than mom, i filled the dress in a little better, and poof! not too long anymore. disaster averted.

just the dressbodice detail. fancccyyyyy.with the evening jacket

and yes that’s a jean jacket. and no you likely will not convince me not to wear it.

also some words on this “photo shoot” i did of … myself. first, i probably took 100 or so photos. i’m vain and i’m ok w/ it. and you see that ridiculous light there? that’s a lamp w/ the lampshade off leaned against an ikea chair in an awkward attempt to create adequate lighting for a no-flash scenario with a really crappy point-and-shoot camera. i just wish i could have set up a better backdrop. my corkboard disaster zone of receipts and birthday cards screams “declasse.”

laceup hotnessnext, shoes are nicole miller from DSW in boston. they are the hotness, but i might fall and die in them. ::crosses fingers::

lastly, i need all your advice. accessories? at first i thought a fancy long necklace would be cool, then i thought maybe it would make the whole look too hippie dippy. but a short necklace might be a little too goth/boring (depending on its color) for my taste. i was thinking big gaudy earrings instead. help!

regarding kanye’s glasses (post below)

you look like an idiotshutter shades (the “Authentic Original Since 2007,” according to the site), are as stupid as trucker hats. maybe stupider. at least trucker hats have mild utility. warning to trendsters: if you wore these for any extended period of time, you will go blind. they offer no UV protection. in fact, i hope you wore them while laying in your tanning beds with your eyes open. this looks like a total LA trend: like ugg boots in southern california. pointless.

troy suburbia = antithesis of creativity

but defying all logic, this 46yo father of two from troy (!!) will be on project runway this season.

holy crap now i’ll actually have to watch it.

premieres tonight at 9pm on bravo.

i hope he’s not a total douche, although will any of us troyalty really be that surprised if he is?

thoughts on ‘indie’ style

forget shaggy hair and black eyeliner. i want a band to be really different and look like a bunch of frat boys: short-sleeve polo, ratty loose jeans, flip flops, and a forward-facing, curved-rim baseball hat. stop being an accidental parody of yourself. do it on purpose.
i’m serious. i’d listen to that band.

the sartorialist show

so a couple posts back, i asked why someone would go to an art show where all the prints on display are also on the artist’s blog. the answer, obviously, is not to see the art, but rather, be seen preening and posing near the art.

imagine a room full of people who really, really want to be photographed by a the eminent fashion chronicler of our time. they look just like the photos on the wall—which *NEWSFLASH* is exactly why you won’t be photographed any time soon. why would he want to take pics of an outfit he’s already seen?

for the record, i wore an off-the-rack number—complete with ratty nine west loafers and tights, classy horizontal-stripe jcrew turtleneck (my favorite cotton/polyester blend), and an itchy black wool french connection dress.

i got some pics of the guy and some quasi beautiful people. that’s right buddy. i’m taking a pic of your overtanned, surprisingly small-statured existence.

sartor12.JPG

i’m not going to post any more pics of the people there (that’s exactly what they want), but you can bet there were plenty of pocket squares, fake glasses, berets, and ironically mismatched prints.

i will, however, post pictures of these business cards i gathered from the floor of the stairwell.

sartor2.JPG

if you can’t read the tag line, it says, “moving forward by thinking backwards.” what does this mean? what does this guy do? the answer is nothing, on both counts. these are fake business cards for a man who has no real job, who apparently runs an “online magazine” (read: half-ass blog) that was created because he was “all to [sic] tired of magazines that deal with celebrities and socialites alike to whom are interesting in their own right but in my eyes aren’t the ones that need the limelight 24/7.” huh? i repeat: found these on the floor.