Skunkgal - Too Much Skunk In Your Junk

detroit could lose a sports team? GAH

drew sharp is an idiot, but reading these words still makes my heart sink:

It wouldn’t be a surprise if Detroit loses at least one of its four professional sports teams within the next 10 years because ownership sells to an outside interest and the franchise moves to an area with a stronger economic base.

If you don’t think that’s possible, then you’re not looking at the current local economic situation with a realistic eye.

ok, but this is where sharp gets on the crazy train:

Detroit and Phoenix are the only two cities that support four professional sports teams in four separate facilities. That requires four teams capable of finding enough corporate backing for those all-important luxury suites in four different stadiums/arenas to keep the coffers filled without sharing the facility operational costs with another tenant.

That task becomes much tougher for teams in the aftermath of this economic crisis — especially in Detroit.

The idea of the NFL waiving television blackouts in Detroit has been nationally perceived as the equivalent of a government bailout. But the difference between Congress stepping in to assist the automotive industry and the Lions getting a break from the NFL is that there’s no competition for the NFL. It’s a monopoly. It possesses full marketing control and can dictate, without competitive challenge, the market price for its product.

That’s why it cannot turn a blind eye to what’s occurring in Detroit.

huh? i definitely don’t understand this analogy. blackouts exist to encourage people to go to games. how is lifting it like a bailout? the NFL is not taking its money and giving it to detroit, it’s just loosening a tactic used to create incentives to go to games. if your incentive isn’t working, then you might as well make money from tv advertising, right? and what does it being a monopoly have anything to do w/ anything? huh?

and here’s more nonsensity (yeah, i made up that word).

There’s an obvious reason why the NFL hasn’t gotten a new franchise in Los Angeles: It cannot guarantee sellouts in the country’s second-largest media market. The NFL’s primary business objective remains establishing a premium local value for tickets of home games.

Los Angeles residents have long understood that there’s more available to them on a sunny, warm fall Sunday than paying top dollar for an NFL football ticket.

Detroit residents may soon discover there’s more available to them on a cold, cloudy fall Sunday, too. That’s precisely why the NFL cannot afford to lose a Midwestern stalwart like Detroit.

are home game tickets really the main revenue source of the NFL? i can’t find the dollars for this, but it seems that advertising and licensing would be a huge deal, too. LA is a shitty sports town filled w/ transplants with no loyalty. what a horrible analogy. so the lions haven’t sold out some of their games this season. WE ARE 0-10 and have been horrible for YEARS. the fact we were selling out games at the beginning of the year is a testament to loyalty that i doubt even the NFL would ignore. detroit is such a homer town. if they can get their record up close to .500, every game would start to sell out again.

i also like this: “Detroit residents may soon discover there’s more available to them on a cold, cloudy fall Sunday, too.”

haha. um no, they won’t find jack shit.

drew sharp sucks.

damn.

Ford sales drop 33.8%

Among Ford’s brands, sales were down 33.8% at Ford, 22.5% at Lincoln, 43.2% at Mercury and 51.8% at Volvo.

more auto numbers to come, as the rest of the big three announce their sales.

detroit could use a bailout, too. pretty please?

UPDATED (1:05pm): looks like it’s bailouts for all.

Bush approves $25 billion loan package for auto makers

The $25 billion loan package, the biggest federal subsidy for the auto industry since the 1980 bailout of Chrysler, cleared Congress last weekend when the focus was on the debate over the $700 billion financial rescue package.

sneaky sneaky. now let’s make more SUVs.

thx, jack.

millen had us by the balls

if i had them, he would have had mine.

here’s a classic pic but altered to reflect the times.

now we’re free!

(this one’s for you E.S.T. happy belated.)

i broke the camel’s back

i don’t know if you heard, but william clay ford sr. took my advice: millen is fired.

and so ends a historic era for the detroit lions. 31-84. the next one might not be much better, but it will be different. maybe.

all this millen firing news has me wistful for michigan and detroit. this photo is quintessential detroit. hyperbolic, desperate, self-aware, and unashamed. “unashamed?” you ask? of course the lions’ drafting and gameplay are shameful in a “what a shame” kind of way, but lions fans are never ashamed of that shame. those paper bags are a big middle finger to shame.

in the detroit sports family, the lions are like that sad but sweet thalidomide baby that you can’t be disappointed in. big brother red wings got that sports scholarship, the charming pistons just graduated from princeton, and the mercurial tigers found momentary local success playing bass guitar for that ironic hipster band. but for some reason, mommy and daddy love that retard flipper baby the most. pick up those legos? can’t. 3rd down with 7 yards to go? throw a 5-yard pass. yet for some reason, a week 2 loss to green bay hurts so much more than an NBA semifinal loss to the cavs. WHY? maybe lebron is just that good. i digress.

perhaps what makes us so special is how our love transcends skill or logic. we’re not the only city to adore our shitty team, but we do it in a special way. some cities are upset by failure b/c they feel entitled to success (looking at you eagles and red sox fans). others are frustrated because they are so close to being good. not only are we no where near competence, but we also don’t even think we deserve to win. don’t get me wrong, we really want to be .500. but deserve it? no.

the redskins have a similar complex, but let’s be honest, their mascot is really offensive and they don’t have an awesome fight song. welcome to 0 A.M. (after millen). forward down the field!

fire millen

someone out there loves the lions right now, especially after that sweet game against the 49ers yesterday.

i’m sure the wiki entry will eventually go back to normal (maybe when we get to the playoffs?), but it’s fun while it lasts.

in other news, bill ford jr thinks his dad is senile. other people on wikipedia also do not like his dad so much.

i prefer to read that “loser” as more of a “LOOOOSAH” with my fingers shaped as an “L” on my forehead, as opposed to the objective fact that he loses a lot of games. at least michigan state beat notre dame this weekend.

detroit govt: can we just start from scratch?

monica conyers could be afflicted with diagnosable insanity.

Conyers, after exiting the elevators on the 13th floor of the Coleman A. Young Municipal Center, stormed into council offices ranting at the news media.

“You are all evil!” she shouted. “Please leave me alone!”

Conyers’ outburst happened before a reporter asked her a question. She then asked a City Council sergeant to escort her.

And then, after entering the council chambers, she interrupted the Public Health and Safety Committee’s discussion about non-motorized transportation in the city to bemoan the presence of reporters near her house. She said a council member’s job is “part-time” and doesn’t warrant such scrutiny.

Monday’s outburst is the latest in a long string of incidents involving Conyers. After winning election, but before taking office, Conyers was involved in a bar fight but was exonerated.

Earlier this year, she was accused of threatening mayoral appointee DeDan Milton at a pension board meeting, but was not charged. Then she taunted Council President Ken Cockrel Jr. by calling him “Shrek.” Most recently, police were called to her hotel room in Denver after she complained about it.

Council members recoiled at Conyers’ characterization of the job as “part-time.” Councilwoman Alberta Tinsley-Talabi said she considers the job not just full-time, but “overtime.”

a bar fight? holy crap i’d want to see that. monica, no one forced you to be a council member — a public official who is fair game for close scrutiny. and let’s not forget her excellent debate skills. against 8th graders.

an open letter to kwame kilpatrick

dear kwame,

you have let me and the city of detroit down today. i thought you were tough; i thought you had resolve. instead, you fold when things get a little tough. i remember back when eliot spitzer got busted for that whole prostitution thing and he resigned a couple days after the story broke. i remember thinking, “kwame would never do that.” yet here we are.

the detroit spirit has completely abandoned your increasingly rotund body. you know exactly what i’m talking about. it’s the spirit that inspired your wife to beat that stripper in the mayoral mansion. the spirit that permeates through the detroit lions management and reaffirms their commitment to taking wide receivers in the first round of the draft. it’s the same spirit that allows the big three to give its collective middle finger to gas prices and say, “prius!?! hybrids are for pussies. here’s another F-150.”

so you’re going to jail, but do you really have to resign? i just thought you were better than that.

disappointed,
skunk

kwame’s in jail

sigh.

Updated at 11:10 a.m.

Judge Ronald Giles just sent Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick to jail moments after the mayor pleaded for forgiveness and admitted he made an unauthorized trip to Windsor on city business.
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“The first day you were before me, I thought I made it clear to you that this court comes first in everything,” Giles said. “I do understand that you’re under…pressure…but I have to look at how the system should be run and perceived by the public.”

“At the beginning of this case you were given every privilege that could be given to you with regard to travel,” Giles said, adding that he later imposed restrictions after learning Kilpatrick had been abusing his privileges.

“At that time I made it perfectly clear … don’t come back … ,” he said.

Court officials said Kilpatrick would remain in jail until he either posts the full $75,000 bond or until his lawyers can persuade a Wayne County Circuit Court judge to overturn the decision. But first, Kilpatrick would be taken to the 36th District Court detention area.