Skunkgal - Too Much Skunk In Your Junk

quick stop in dc

before i move to philly on friday. omfg.

newport beach is pretty and all, but it’s nice to be back in dc where …

the plants are green
the girls are pale
the boys are flabby
the hours of happiness are intense
the food is greasy
and chipotle is the best “mexican” you can find.

i’ll miss it here.

goodbye no child left behind monstrosity

the department of education is taking down the hideous facade that has graced the front of the otherwise staid dc office building for 7 years.

obama is dumping the no child left behind name altogether.

“It’s like the new Coke. This is a rebranding effort,” said Joe Williams, executive director of Democrats for Education Reform. “The feng shui people believe you need to take the roof off buildings to allow bad chi to escape. Let’s hope this helps.”

wow. that’s a lot of analogies. it’s more like when coca cola stopped putting actual cocaine in their pop. coked-up coca cola had its run, then the government decided it was no good anymore and ditched it, just like NCLB. except the law isn’t awesome like i imagine cocaine-laced soda would be.

wii fit arrives

mom and dad sent me their wii fit for the summer. i love this game except for when it asks me to breathe deeply and i get a big lungful of secondhand marijuana smoke, it makes me miss DC and my oddly isolated apartment.

murder in dc: this shit is crazy

washington post chronicles the extremely strange murder case of robert wone, who was killed while staying with friends in their dupont circle home. it’s a two-part series: part I, part II.

i’m spoiling the end here, but read the whole thing (especially if you like crime stories) because it’s ridiculous.

Page 12: “The evidence demonstrates that Robert Wone was restrained, incapacitated, sexually assaulted and murdered.”

Restrained . . . in a way that halted his breathing long enough to cause the petechial hemorrhages. The affidavit uses the example of an attacker “placing a pillow over” someone’s face.

Incapacitated . . . by an injection, while being restrained. To investigators, the clean wounds (which Goslinoski said had been “methodically” inflicted) indicated that Wone neither struggled nor flinched in pain during the stabbing, meaning he was unconscious or paralyzed. Questioned by detectives, Kathy Wone said her husband had no medical appointments in the days before Aug. 2 that might have accounted for the premortem needle marks on his body.

Injected with what? No lab finding so far. In court recently, Kirschner said toxicologists would soon conduct a final test, using up the one remaining milliliter of Wone’s blood. As for what they hoped to find, the prosecutor said: “It’s a little bit of a shot in the dark. . . . All of this is a little bit speculative, quite frankly.”

Sexually assaulted
. . . while incapacitated, before the stabbing.

As for the semen on and in Wone’s body being his own, Kirschner explained at a court hearing how investigators think the alleged assault occurred. “The government has now, courtesy of experts, learned a lot more about electro-ejaculation than frankly this counsel ever knew,” he said. “And there was, indeed, an electrocution unit in Mr. Ward’s bedroom that can produce electric ejaculation of a person who is under anesthetic or otherwise incapacitated.”

And murdered
. . . . after which came the alleged coverup, detailed in the affidavit and in a subsequent indictment charging the men with obstructing justice (punishable by up to 30 years in prison) and the lesser crimes of conspiracy and evidence-tampering.

The housemates, “individually and in combination,” washed the victim, cleaned the guest room and neatly remade the bed, the indictment alleges. Then they “placed the body of Robert Wone” atop the turned-down sheets and comforter.

i can’t wait to see the law and order episode based on this. what’s striking is that this murder occurred in august 2006, and they didn’t make an arrest until october 2008 (not even for murder, but rather obstruction). real life is so much more tedious than fake life.

weather.com: stop it

tomorrow is my going-away party. the original plan was to hold it on a friend’s apartment rooftop. this was to be totally fabulous and urban yuppie, sipping drinks, chatting about stimulus plans, and admiring the dc “skyline.”

however, weather.com has other plans and tells me that through the duration of my party we should expect a 30 percent chance of rain. this is terrible, mostly because 30 percent is probably the worst percentage of all. not high enough that i can be sure we should relocate, but not quite low enough to ignore its soggy portent.

even the icons are annoying:

rain

rain? lightning? or maybe sunshine? can’t decide! like an agnostic often hears, MAKE UP YOUR MIND.

protesters, get a life

anti-globalization activists were in DC over the weekend, protesting the IMF and world bank, and being overall very annoying. they took out a PNC bank in my neighborhood. actually, that’s my bank, where i get shit done. i’m feeling territorial, and this annoys me greatly, plus being blanketly anti-globalization is stupid. don’t f w/ my bank.

also, this is an excellent quote from reason magazine:

Protesting the International Monetary Fund by smashing up and spray-painting a PNC bank and Wachovia branch in Logan Circle a mile and a half away is roughly akin to registering your dissatifaction with a New York Stock Exchange meeting on Wall Street by urinating on some Greenwich Village ATMs.

what were they doing in logan circle anyway?

dc gop: why do you exist?

dc voted 97 percent (or so) for obama in november, yet the GOP has a dc office — and kind of in the middle of the gayborhood.

sad republicans

the sign reads: “the door bell is out of order. please knock hard.”

this really isn’t that funny, but i like the thought of a jcrew-clad, well-heeled republican banging on this glass door. har har har.

more on washington field

did some research on this new show that has the budget to blow up a boat in the potomac: the creator is ed bernero from criminal minds fame, and he also was heavily involved in third watch. both of these shows are pretty mediocre, so i won’t expect much more.

cast. so diverse

the cast is as follows (how diverse!), from left to right:

cole hauser — i have no idea who this person is and nothing in imdb really jumps out at me.
teri polo — she’s been on EVERYTHING it seems, including the cover of playboy. for this reason it was very difficult to find a pic of her.
michael yang king — asian!
gina torres — a joss whedon favorite on both firefly and angel. she was also a female on 24, filling that archetype nicely.
eddie cibrian — he is very familiar to me, probably from third watch. sorry about the gratuitous shirtless pic, but whatever. my blog.

washington field looks pretty crappy when compared to body politic, granted they are nothing alike except that they are both based in dc.

UPDATE 1:51pm: more on the showrunners, from we love dc:

IMDB lists the series’ director as Jon Cassar, who has directed more episodes of 24 than any other director, so if we’re very lucky, the main characters won’t know where the Washington Field Office is either.