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martha stewart: ‘whatever’

big martha was at school today speaking to a crowd of mostly undergrad wharton students. the whole thing started off terribly. she rambled on about her products (magazine, tv show, towels, macy’s, blog, twitter, etc.) and i didn’t go to listen to a 1.5-long commercial. luckily, there were highlights …

did you know?

1. that glitter is SO IN. martha stewart glitter is all sold out.
2. she blogs. her dogs blog. her dogs are in a feud w/ bill oreilly. martha stewart apparently thinks her dogs are real people. wtf. this is from the dogs’ blog …

3. did you know that people wash their sheets once a week? this from an unofficial poll of martha stewart’s twitter followers. i’m no statistician but …

best quotes:

1. “i’m really interesting.”
2. on rachel ray using the “every day” phrase: “whatever”
3. on going on letterman, and being spilled on (or something): “letterman was trying to distract me … not sexually.”
4. “i wrote my book right after prison”
5. how she describes the “mess” from five years ago, aka “when they should have been looking at mr. madoff instead of martha stewart.”

that last quote, i started an auditorium-wide slow clap. holla SEC.

and lastly, martha showed a clip of the “whatever, martha” show, where her daughter and annoying daughter’s friend watch old episodes of the “martha stewart show” and give it the “mystery science theater” treatment. the clip we saw was from a thai yoga episode, but here’s another episode i found. it’s not as funny, but whatev.

so many women

a peek at my friday from last week:

spent 8-5 at the Wharton Women in Business Conference, where I did womanly things like network with women and learn about how awesome women are in business.

then from 5-8 i went to the first night of Philly Fashion Week. yes philly has a fashion week, and yes it was pretty lame.

then immediately after the show i went to a “girls’ night in” with the women in my cohort (a 70-person subgroup at wharton), where we drank wine and objectified men.

all this is to say that i spoke to one man in person the entire day: the bouncer at the fashion show. this is not what i expected business school to be like.

when the lecture notes mock you

from my managerial economics class:

To maximize output at a given cost, we simply define our input bundle at the point where the isocost line intersects with the isoquant of the highest possible quantity.

after reading this a couple times, i actually understand what’s happening, but i think the “simply” here is plain rude. in general, these are pretty terrible notes. i’ve found myself going to wikipedia occasionally for definitions. that’s not right.

8 things i learned in business school so far

1. finance people aren’t so bad. you just got to find the ones who read books.
2. they are especially not that bad when they think i’m the coolest since i know stuff about rankings.
3. black monday has nothing to do w/ the great depression. it is the monday after thanksgiving when everyone comes back to school without boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, and wives. also, apparently “MBA” stands for “married but available.” it’s a joke. get it?
4. the derivative of e^x = e^x.
5. whartonites have a serious inferiority complex to harvard business school. meh. over it.
6. splitting the check w/ b-school peeps is the best. everyone is good at math.
7. getting a beer at the bar with b-school peeps is the worst. everyone is super aggressive.
8. networking is exhausting. how many people named jenny lee can you meet in a day?
9. by far the coolest thing i learned was that brazilian passports are really valuable on the black market. brazil is very diverse, and apparently it’s believable to see any race on a brazilian passport. that’s just cool.

UPDATE (10:30pm): someone smarter than i am has pointed out that although this post is titled “8 things i learned …” i actually listed 9 things. meh, so i guess i don’t split the check ever.

bschool is killing my sense of humor

“networking” is sucking the life force out of me right now. the people are fine, but attending 100 to 800-person meet-and-greets literally every day is not sustainable for my well-being. and it’s tiring. so tiring i can’t be funny. and if i can’t be funny, this isn’t a very good blog.

i hope i get my mojo back soon.

i am not good at compound interest

i’m trying to cram for a math waiver exam tonight and i realize how not natural this is for me. i used to think i liked math, assigning a hyper-rational, equilibrium-is-good quality to it. “i like math because it’s beautiful!”

but now i’m pretty sure i liked math because my ego and competitiveness dictated it. i liked math because i was in the 99th percentile at it, not because it represented balance and art or whatever math majors say. now that the majority of people around me have actually done it in the past 7 years and i hover around the 72nd percentile, math is looking pretty sucky. not to mention that business math seems to linger on concepts that i never fully grasped (logs, e, etc.), i’m thinking this waiver exam is not going to waive much of anything. at least i understand calculus.

ethical MBA students? oxymoron?

the new york times with another very important trend story:

A Promise to Be Ethical in an Era of Immorality

to sum up: around 200 harvard MBA students sign an ethics pledge, which is printed out on some glossy cardstock (terrible for the environment, but whatever). this is slightly different from what has happened in the past, so the NYT calls up a couple other schools and finds out if anything similar is going on over there. there sort of is, and there sort of isn’t, but, meh, we’ll write a story about how students these days are so ethical anyway. POOF! a most-emailed story.

but don’t get too excited:

Bruce Kogut, director of the Sanford C. Bernstein & Company Center for Leadership and Ethics at Columbia, said that this emphasis did not mean that students were necessarily going to shun jobs that paid well. Rather, they will think about how they earn their income, not just how much.

summary: we still want to make loads of money. but we’ll feel a little more guilty about it.