Skunkgal - Too Much Skunk In Your Junk

i am a grumpy old man (two rants to prove this)

rant 1
went to dodge city last night, and have decided i was either too sober or too old for that bar. when i go out drinking, i want two scenarios: 1) medium-decibel music where i can talk OR 2) loud music with explicit dance tunes that inspire lip syncing and fist pumping. i keep ending up at these places where the music is ear-busting loud but with music that you can only awkwardly sway to. what is the point of that? how am i supposed to meet people when the first interaction is basically mouth-to-ear resuscitation? besides, my hilariously understated wit just does not work well in loud settings. for instance:

rando: hey, so why you getting a drink alone up here?
me: obviously, to meet random guys who are getting drinks alone, too.
rando: what?
me: obviously, to meet random guys who are getting drinks alone, too.
rando: WHAT?
me: obviously, to meet random guys who are getting drinks alone, too.
rando: say that again?
me: son of a bitch.

anyway, that sucks.

rant/observation 2
WHY ARE THESE BARS AND ALMOST ALL CONCERTS SO F’ING LOUD? let’s say, hypothetically, you are a music fan/snob, and you LOOOOOOVE going to live concerts and listening to completely the newest pitchfork wet dream. you, music snob, absolutely live and die for music.

then why do you continuously abuse your auditory system with deafening noise designed to bend every inner ear hair cell in your cochlea? if you love music so much, don’t you want to preserve the ability to … listen to music? i realize most people don’t think about the three parts of their ears so much, or the future at all, but still.

mostly, i am very sensitive to sound, and loud events give me headaches (i’m a great date), but more importantly, i want to have awesome hearing when i’m old. just like i don’t want brain cancer when i’m old (just bought a headset for my phone), and i don’t want droopy sad skin when i’m old (avoid the sun at all costs).

i’m so cool.

3 Responses to “ i am a grumpy old man (two rants to prove this) ”

  1. Russell Heimlich said:

    I enjoy paying a fee to go to a place that plays loud music so i can “talk” to my friends and buy very overpriced drinks. Not doing so would make me a social anchor.

  2. Tom Harkin said:

    My deep voice does terribly in loud bars. It’s like I’m not even talking.

  3. jimmy said:

    i do not approve of this blog post

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