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martha stewart: ‘whatever’

big martha was at school today speaking to a crowd of mostly undergrad wharton students. the whole thing started off terribly. she rambled on about her products (magazine, tv show, towels, macy’s, blog, twitter, etc.) and i didn’t go to listen to a 1.5-long commercial. luckily, there were highlights …

did you know?

1. that glitter is SO IN. martha stewart glitter is all sold out.
2. she blogs. her dogs blog. her dogs are in a feud w/ bill oreilly. martha stewart apparently thinks her dogs are real people. wtf. this is from the dogs’ blog …

3. did you know that people wash their sheets once a week? this from an unofficial poll of martha stewart’s twitter followers. i’m no statistician but …

best quotes:

1. “i’m really interesting.”
2. on rachel ray using the “every day” phrase: “whatever”
3. on going on letterman, and being spilled on (or something): “letterman was trying to distract me … not sexually.”
4. “i wrote my book right after prison”
5. how she describes the “mess” from five years ago, aka “when they should have been looking at mr. madoff instead of martha stewart.”

that last quote, i started an auditorium-wide slow clap. holla SEC.

and lastly, martha showed a clip of the “whatever, martha” show, where her daughter and annoying daughter’s friend watch old episodes of the “martha stewart show” and give it the “mystery science theater” treatment. the clip we saw was from a thai yoga episode, but here’s another episode i found. it’s not as funny, but whatev.

One Response to “ martha stewart: ‘whatever’ ”

  1. Jack said:

    I know some people that went to high school with her. Even back then, people thought she was a horrible person.

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