Skunkgal - Too Much Skunk In Your Junk

25 things that make me a wonderful person

there’s this stupid viral thing on facebook where people self-indulgently write “25s thing you didn’t know about me” or some nonsense like that. i did it b/c when i do things it’s funny, but apparently i become abusive after thinking about things i despise for so long. the list:

1. i don’t love chocolate.
2. or cake.
3. and i despise luxury cupcakes. just what women need: another craze that makes us look stupid.
4. i have disdain for puppies.
5. and kittens.
6. and cute things in general.
7. i think PETA is an abomination of an organization and seeing one of their ads makes me want to wear fur-lined fur coats and eat cows that have been drugged and abused.
8. i hate exclamation points. no one should be that excited.
9. i hate emoticons, especially when used at work. great way to be taken seriously, buddy.
10. i dislike the use of “lol” in IM convo. there’s no way you are actually laughing out loud that often. you’d be fired.
11. i hate brunch. why would i pay $20 for a western omelet i can make myself and champagne watered down with orange juice? i’ll take the bottle, thanks.
12. i dislike roses. who was the first jerk who gave flowers that made their partner bleed? what’s so wrong with lilies or other plants that haven’t formed clever evolutionary defenses?
13. i dislike hugs.
14. and touching in general.
15. surprisingly, i love babies.
16. especially bad ones
17. and when they cry.
18. i want to steal them.
19. i hate sunshine. it literally gives me hives.
20. i hate halloween, st. patrick’s day, new year’s, and any day that draws nondrinkers out. STAY HOME and watch another episode of ugly betty, eating ben and jerry’s in your sweatpants.
21. i don’t watch comedies. i don’t want to escape from the pain. i want to delve deeper.
22. i hate these lists.
23. but i love myself for doing this one.
24. i’m actually a very happy and content person.
25. really. 🙂 !!!!

3 Responses to “ 25 things that make me a wonderful person ”

  1. Russell Heimlich said:

    Alison goTH!

  2. boukman70 said:

    Beautiful!

  3. Mike Weinstein said:

    Looks like you invented this:

    http://www.theonion.com/content/video/fda_approves_depressant_drug_for

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