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Archive for December, 2008

NYT writes about umich! omg!

A Rust Belt Oasis, the University of Michigan Is Spending Billions to Grow

to summarize:
1. the state says, oopsie, we’re in an economic state of depression.
2. the school says, eff that. we’re building the crap out of campus.
3. state says, we have no money to give you b/c we can barely collect income tax since more than 9.3% of people in the state no longer have income.
4. the market says, eff you all. i’m taking 30% of your endowment from July 1.
5. school says, whatever dude. we’ve got rich people who want their names on buildings.
6. school says, let my people build! children’s hospital, new dorm, b-school, and the big house, oh my!
7. student says, thank god the frieze building is gone.
8. student also says, didn’t they just update the biz school 4 years ago? again!? wtf.
9. nyt says, those crazy midwesterners, building in bust times. let’s write a story!

now you don’t have to read the nyt. you’re welcome.

all your child are belong to us

i am creepy and took pics with all my cousins and second cousins in town for the holidays. yes, i am related to all these children, even the white one. wow, we are so adorable.

a larger slideshow with all my holiday family pics.

check back for more later. at least two more family parties to go …

valkyrie and benjamin button

saw them. my plot summaries and reviews.

1. valkyrie: tom cruise is a nazi who tries to assassinate hitler. SPOILER ALERT. it doesn’t work. if you’re like me — gullible — you’ll like this movie. i really thought they’d make it work for a couple minutes there. also, kenneth branagh got fat.

2. the curious case of benjamin button: brad pitt ages backward. cate blanchett ages forward. they meet in the middle and have sexy sex.

it’s shades of forrest gump meets big fish meets the notebook meets mork and mindy.

watch it if you don’t think it’s awkward that grandpas/grandmas are in love with children. watch anyway even if you do think it’s awkward.

and taraji p. henson is the hotness.

lions: 0-16

YES WE DID.
L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L

you wish you were this badass

Hostage Halts Robbery ‘Like In the Movies’

Speeding on the Capital Beltway, James Spruill knew he had to act fast. His wife and boys were packed into the family car, and a masked man was in the back seat, jabbing a loaded gun into his 11-year-old son’s ribs.

Twelve hours earlier, two gunmen had forced their way into his Prince George’s County home. Spruill said they tied him and his wife up with cords from a clock radio and a PlayStation, holding them overnight in separate bedrooms and keeping the two children in a third. The men had said they would hold the boys hostage and use his wife, an assistant bank manager, to rob her branch in the morning.

“They were a bunch of amateurs,” he said.

Spruill said he was in the bedroom, preparing for work, when his wife called out. He rushed to the front room, where he saw two men wearing ski masks, one holding a gun to his wife’s head. The men tied up the husband and wife, separating them, and forced the boys into their parents’ bedroom.

The assailants spoke to their hostages in English but communicated with each other in Spanish. Spruill, bound in one of the boy’s bedrooms, said he stayed awake all night, planning and listening as the men rummaged through his kitchen.

“It was like in the movies,” he said. “You just had to think it all through and figure it out. I wanted to keep us all together.”

In the morning, the assailants said one of them would stay at the house with the boys while the other went to the bank with Spruill and his wife.

Spruill fabricated a story to keep the family together. He told the men that his aunt was expected to visit that morning. He told them that if he was forced to call her to cancel the visit, he would find a way to let her know the family was in danger.

The assailants were fooled into changing their plan. The whole family would go to the bank, they decided. But there wasn’t room for both would-be robbers in the car, so one would stay behind.

They headed for the bank, at Elton Road and New Hampshire Avenue. Spruill sped for much of 25 miles, hoping to get pulled over.

When Cameron (the police officer) flipped his lights on, the assailant pulled off his mask, showing his face for the first time. He instructed Spruill to tell the officer that they were headed to breakfast together.

On the right shoulder, approaching on the side away from traffic, Cameron asked for his license. Trying to alert the trooper that something was amiss, Spruill handed him his bank card. Cameron had by then noticed that someone in the back seat was making “suspicious movements,” police said.

Cameron asked for his license again. Spruill unbuckled his seat belt and lunged.

am i famous yet?

lauren asks: so who are you sleeping with at the express to get your blog quoted twice in the past two days??

12/23 edition

kanye. woot.

12/22 edition

firefirefire

yes lauren, it is pretty weird since my only contact at the express has since left for greener pastures. i’m just that good.

in bed.

in troy

it’s cold and rainy and snowy and awesome here. and for once i’m being sincere. not so awesome: horrible economic depression.

regarding kanye’s glasses (post below)

you look like an idiotshutter shades (the “Authentic Original Since 2007,” according to the site), are as stupid as trucker hats. maybe stupider. at least trucker hats have mild utility. warning to trendsters: if you wore these for any extended period of time, you will go blind. they offer no UV protection. in fact, i hope you wore them while laying in your tanning beds with your eyes open. this looks like a total LA trend: like ugg boots in southern california. pointless.