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michigan football and other ann arbor mishaps

i returned to the motherland this weekend in order to bolster the economy via my parents’ money. i did it the michigan way by overindulging in food and clothing, and even got to see some terrible football to boot — terrible football that inspires terrible drinking that causes terrible results. two cautionary tales:

1. this is walt (in yellow).

you may not know walt, but that knowledge isn’t necessary to find this photo hilarious. what you should know is that walt loves michigan football. he will not get married during football season for fear that one of his anniversaries in the future may fall on the same day as an important game. consequently, when michigan sucks at football, walt gets sad and sometimes drinks. when this happens, walt sometimes falls into lakes or wanders 2 miles to a kroger to get carpet cleaner at 4am. this weekend, walt sang songs (his own impromptu “songs”) featuring the names of past michigan football greats while freak dancing a dude in a robe. i’m pretty sure grinding a guy with bad hair in a robe on the street in the freezing cold is something that only happens in college. which is why i’m glad i’m out of college now.

2. another reason why sadness-induced drinking may not be the best idea: the guy who fell from a 2nd-floor foyer and spilled blood all over the floor outside the bar. all this happened while i was cluelessly sipping my delicious canadian brew inside mitch’s, but you know nothing good happened when the owner shoos you out 30 min before closing, the cops are wearing blue latex evidence gloves, and there is crime scene tape all around. the ann arbor news has the details:

A Birmingham man is in critical condition this morning at the University of Michigan Medical Center after falling from the second-story balcony of a downtown Ann Arbor bar while apparently attempting a stunt, police said.

The 30-year-old man suffered a fractured skull and other serious injuries after landing head-first on the concrete outside Mitch’s Place, 1220 S. University Ave. about 1:15 a.m. Sunday, Detective Sgt. Richard Kinsey said.

Witness reports indicate the man attempted to slide down the railing of a stairway from the balcony.

The first officers to arrive at the scene said a large crowd of people was surrounding the man, who was unresponsive and lying in a large pool of blood.

Police estimated he fell roughly 18 feet. They confirmed he had been drinking at the bar but are awaiting tests result to determine his level of intoxication. Kinsey said no foul play is suspected and the incident remains under investigation.

i’m hesitant to post this photo, but it’s almost 4am and my judgment sucks. in my infinite wisdom, i took a pic of the bloody scene and got thoroughly reamed out by the cops. i deserved it, but in my defense, i didn’t know what had happened at the time.

you can’t see much, but perhaps that’s for the better.

moral of the story? don’t drink so much. you might do stupid stuff.

5 Responses to “ michigan football and other ann arbor mishaps ”

  1. sean dailey said:

    damnit walt…

  2. jina said:

    what is wrong with you people? and by “you people,” i mean wolverines. oh wait, we’ve insighted riots. i guess i shouldn’t talk… 😉

  3. will said:

    Holy crap. I’ve done a lot of dumb things while drunk in Ann Arbor, not mention at Mitch’s in particular, but Jesus.

  4. Jess said:

    I submit a correction: I think it’s more like 3-4 miles to that Kroger. He went to the one on Carpenter, right?

  5. alison said:

    i was trying to figure that out if it was the carpenter or packard one. 4am may also be just an estimate.

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