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Archive for October, 2008

another halloween perspective

underage chinese gymnast

instead of doing anything ridiculous for halloween, i’m laying low this year, which is unfortunate b/c i had the bestest costume idea ever. hearts will be broken that i’m not going out, but if you were wondering, here’s an approximation of what i might have looked like, just 8 inches taller and 60 lbs heavier.

it’s as if weird al was a bunch of low-income black kids

7th graders sing and dance to “you can vote however you like” to the tune of TI’s “whatever you like.”

i’m sure TI approves of this message. from prison. good thing they don’t discuss gun control.

britney: even more NSFW than before

trust me. this is really not ok for work.

the gimme more video made me feel guilty. this video lets me know everything will be all right in the world.

sex. babies. religion.

new yorker story about chastity, abstinence, abortion, marriage, and everything sex-related.

some of these differences in sexual behavior come down to class and education. Regnerus and Carbone and Cahn all see a new and distinct “middle-class morality” taking shape among economically and socially advantaged families who are not social conservatives. In Regnerus’s survey, the teen-agers who espouse this new morality are tolerant of premarital sex (and of contraception and abortion) but are themselves cautious about pursuing it. Regnerus writes, “They are interested in remaining free from the burden of teenage pregnancy and the sorrows and embarrassments of sexually transmitted diseases. They perceive a bright future for themselves, one with college, advanced degrees, a career, and a family. Simply put, too much seems at stake. Sexual intercourse is not worth the risks.” These are the kids who tend to score high on measures of “strategic orientation”—how analytical, methodical, and fact-seeking they are when making decisions. Because these teen-agers see abstinence as unrealistic, they are not opposed in principle to sex before marriage—just careful about it. Accordingly, they might delay intercourse in favor of oral sex, not because they cherish the idea of remaining “technical virgins” but because they assess it as a safer option. “Solidly middle- or upper-middle-class adolescents have considerable socioeconomic and educational expectations, courtesy of their parents and their communities’ lifestyles,” Regnerus writes. “They are happy with their direction, generally not rebellious, tend to get along with their parents, and have few moral qualms about expressing their nascent sexuality.” They might have loved Ellen Page in “Juno,” but in real life they’d see having a baby at the wrong time as a tragic derailment of their life plans. For this group, Regnerus says, unprotected sex has become “a moral issue like smoking or driving a car without a seatbelt. It’s not just unwise anymore; it’s wrong.”

this pretty much sums up my existence.

what i like about this passage is that it implies that girls in this middle- to upper-class group have something to strive toward, which in turn gives you something more to lose, which is why they tend not to have sex. maybe i’m making a leap here, but i’d posit that the girls in the pregnancy pact demographic aren’t exactly planning for their M.D.s or six-figure paychecks.

i don’t know how you inculcate career goals in huge swaths of the nation, but that’s what i suppose the liberal feminist agenda is for.

better than that pitt/spacey/paltrow movie

in this version of the classic thriller, kevin spacey buys an oversize house in las vegas, while an aged brad pitt looked at his 401k yesterday and had dinner with richard fuld.

who does ryan adams love?

mariah carey, that’s who.

Not only is Adams a huge fan of the R&B singer, he named an album after a Mariah Carey cut. “My manager called and said, ‘You have 15 seconds to name this record,'” he says. “My eyes focused on this poster of Mariah wearing a T-shirt that said HEARTBREAKER. I just shouted, ‘Heartbreaker!’ Daydream is one of my most played records. People need to reinvestigate Glitter. I’m settled enough in my masculinity to say I don’t see anything wrong with Glitter.”

shout out to j-ho, whose bro bylined this excellent piece of reportage.

i met spike from top chef

sometimes dc sucks. yesterday, it didn’t.

on assignment, nikki and i went to the hill for lunch to try out obama/mccain burgers at spike’s restaurant. we all chatted about food and politics, and he was fine. a gentleman, but not necessarily a scholar. i asked why he didn’t put arugula on the obama burger, but i don’t think he got the joke.

here are the fruits of our “labor,” but i would have added this line:

On the other hand, the McCain burger was indeed tasty, but the mayo and salsa mix makes the bun slide around but thanks to the mayo and salsa mix, it was a mess — kind of like McCain’s campaign. Hiyo!!

a version of that was apparently edited out. bah.

after returning to work for four more hours, me and two of the USN sorority girls headed to a DC blogger party at the park, otherwise known as the bar where beautiful and well-dressed black people stand in insanely long lines on the weekend, but ugly people are allowed in on the weekdays. more free food and “discounted” drinks eventually led us to the tattoo bar after party, where the REAL fun started.

tattoo is the kind of place where 50yo skeezy male lobbyists bring clients and order grey goose bottle service and johnnie walker on some overmarketed industry’s dime while confused 30yo women atop faux leather bench seating dance to white snake, prince, and new edition.

this, of course, was AWESOME. because no one was actually spending their own money, i literally had top shelf liquor thrown at me from all directions. bombay and tonic? why thank you. amstel light? how declasse. also, in a city where single women outnumber single men 2 to 1, the ratio at this bar (maybe 50/50. maybe more men) was fortuitous. while nikki was charming the 401k lobby, i was being aggressively pursued by several old men. what the hell have i been doing at dc9 all these months? jesus.

let’s break down the men (and woman).
1. red shirt guy: was into corporate real estate and didn’t buy me a drink. coincidence?
2. tall black guy: called me “boss” (“girl, you know you’re the boss lady”). also had a matching tie and pocket handkerchief and an impeccably cut suit. very fabulous.
3. white shirt guy: all over the place, and his idea for how to woo me? “i know i’m really effeminate, but i’m really cool. just takes time.” he slipped me his number on a napkin at the end of the night (a first).
4. andy dick lookalike: writes snarky movie reviews and his favorite film is supposedly “rosemary’s baby.” my response: “that would be your favorite movie.” i think he fell in love w/ me right there. also, he would randomly come by and rub himself on me, which would be way weirder if i wasn’t sure he was gay.
5. defense dept contractor: he was from richmond, he was probably married and had pocketed his ring, but he was by far my favorite. he was taking out a congressional liaison, and ended up with a $450 bar tab. he paid it like it was nothing. this is how business is done, and THIS IS WHY DC IS SO F’D UP. btw, the liaison looked like eric roberts in the creepiest way possible.
6. crazy wheelchair-bound asian lesbian: this girl was nuts. she was dancing with everyone in her wheelchair, throwing back shots, screaming at entire bar. it was the sweetness. then as the party was dying down, she grabbed my wrist, rubbed my arm a little, and insisted i go back w/ her and her friends to hang out. all the while she was making a cute sniffing motion as she held her forearm to her nose. yes, she was offering me some coke.
she had this intense entourage, which made me think she was a dealer. either way, i took that as a sign to PEACE OUT.

which concludes another tuesday in dc.