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why i’m watching samurai girl

asian samurai girl is a 6-hour miniseries airing on abc family about a japanese princess who has ninja skills and has to fulfill some destiny and with her trusty white friends, seeks revenge for her brother’s death.

as you can imagine, the series is kind of bad. for example:

1. the acting sucks 60% of the time.
2. the writing sucks 80% of the time. actually, i can’t really watch this thing w/ out tivo b/c i need to fast forward through so many parts.
3. the samurai girl is supposed to be japanese (duh), yet the actress who plays samurai girl is named jamie chung (from real world fame). if you know anything about asians, you know that ms. chung being japanese = unlikely.
4. in fact, none of the many “japanese” characters on the show are japanese. i mean, you couldn’t even find one?
5. all the slant-eyed characters are non-americans, yet remarkably none have accents. FOR REAARRS?
6. in the show, samurai girl is supposed to be 19. the attractive white man she’s supposed to be shacking up w/ in the end is at minimum 24. apparently this is not supposed to strike anyone as sort of gross.
7. samurai girl’s name is “heaven.” having to listen to bad actors ask “where’s heaven?” over and over kind of hurts my ears.
8. it’s on abc family. before friday night, i didn’t even know what channel abc family was even on.

so many things wrong, yet here i am, setting my tivo for the last 2 hours tomorrow night and blogging about it. yikes. in my defense, there is nothing else on tv right now, and the white knight that i imagine will end up w/ young heaven is michael from roswell (circa 1999). so no one watched roswell, i’m sure, and neither did i, but i always liked reading about it. it’s a show that was riding the coattails of buffy and about aliens and shit, and it also produced katherine heigl. i hear she’s a big deal now.

here’s brendan fehr before and after:

now i’m not really recommending anyone watch samurai girl, but i just thought i’d record for posterity that this is happening. thanks to the aforementioned tivo, i think i’ll have actually logged about 3.5 hours of time watching the entire 3-day, 6-hour event, so thank god for technology! there are few and far between shows that feature asians, and even if they do the whole martial arts/yellow fever thing here, i gotta support my people — even if my people are real world hasbeens who sell their bodies (image search “jamie chung” and check out all the pics that were amazingly too inappropriate for this blog) and whose next project is the movie “dragonball” of “z” fame. (btw, does anyone else think she looks like a young lucy liu or a more asian kristen kreuk?)

anyways, if you think i’m pathetic, someone should have hung out w/ me on friday or i wouldn’t have been sent to these depths. that is all.

3 Responses to “ why i’m watching samurai girl ”

  1. Tom Harkin said:

    Jamie Chung for Obama’s VP

  2. jina said:

    i don’t think she looks like lucy liu at all. lucy is WAY hotter.

  3. hott titty said:

    who is that awsome china boy that hangs around obama,and his family on ocassions is he a houseboy he seems to be involved with the obama clan, is he a manny ?

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