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fall tv: the monday 8pm ultimate battle

starting this week, my life is basically over. between football and fall tv, i’m not sure how i’m actually going to hang out w/ real people. but onto the “reviews” and also some notes on tough decisions i’ll have to make.

the fall lineup organized itself into two basic categories: old shows that excite me, new shows that intrigue me.

shows like comfort food, except they make you kinda stupid, not fat:

gossip girl (cw, monday 8pm, already premiered): very ZOMG-worthy first two episodes for the 2nd season. and if you’re not already, like, totes obsessed, don’t let the subject matter fool you — this is a women’s empowerment tale. no waifish and talentless blonds were harmed when making this show.

bones (fox, wednesday 8pm, already premiered): this easily cracks my top 10 shows of all time, and i’m still catching up on old episodes in syndication. even awkwardly placed DC landmarks still bring a certain thrill. if you like quirk, this is good. if you like crime shows, also good. and the sexual tension b/w bones and booth is so friggin palpable i could lick it up.

terminator (fox, monday 8pm, already premiered): EXCELLENT season premiere. if you like shit blowing up and sloppy (yet effective) religious metaphors, you need to be watching this.

house (fox, tuesday 8pm, sept. 16): i watched last season’s finale and cried. a lot. this is particularly remarkable b/c i don’t watch the show at all. the finale was that good. this is low priority, but my interest is piqued.

it’s always sunny in philadelphia (fx, thursday 10pm, sept. 18): penguin, you’re so funny.

heroes (nbc, monday 9pm, sept. 22): the 2nd season was kind of bad, but i have faith it can redeem itself in the 3rd. as long as young spock has lots of screentime, we’ll be good.

law and order: svu (nbc, tuesday 10pm, sept. 23): no explanation necessary.

criminal minds (cbs, wednesday 9pm, sept. 24): i only started watching this b/c xander (from buffy) was on a couple episodes, but i like it anyway. i usually fastforward through 1/4 of it, so it’s a pretty quick hit.

chuck (nbc, monday 8pm, sept. 29): the first season was pretty good, but it’s a little zanier than my tastes usually run. moment of self-realization: i don’t really do zany. i think it’s why i don’t tend to watch comedies. EW says this season is way better, so i’m excited anyway.

life (nbc, friday 10pm, sept. 29): the guy from band of brothers is still cute (i think i said so last year), and this crime show is just different enough from all the others to justify its existence. also, dan and jenny’s very versatile mom is the lieutenant on the show.

pushing daisies (abc, wednesday 8pm, oct. 1): i was getting tired of this show by the end. nothing ever happened. but i’m all about second chances.

eli stone (abc, tuesday 10pm, oct. 14): this is a VERY zany show, yet i love it. there goes that theory. dear blog readers, will everyone please watch this show so it won’t get canceled?

30 rock (nbc, thursday 9:30pm, oct. 30): i’m so smart that i understand the jokes in 30 rock. yay me.

law and order: ci (usa, thursday 10pm, nov. 6): jeff goldblum fills in for chris noth. hopefully vincent d’inofrio gave birth to that gut he had last season.

new shows. **** for shows i really am truly excited about

raising the bar (tnt, monday 10pm, already premiered): zach morris has horrible long hair and is a public defender. this is an absolutely humorless show and has already been erased from my tivo. zach morris is way too self-righteous. HAVE YOU NO SENSE OF IRONY? and where’s your phone?

90210 (cw, tuesday 8pm, already premiered): i’m not that interested, but it has tristan wilds from the wire and that crazy biotch from nip/tuck. those two alone deserve at least one look into the show. i already missed the premiere, but i think i’ll be ok.

privileged (cw, tuesday 9pm, sept. 9): poor student tutors rich orphaned twins. hilarity ensues? i will watch the first couple episodes since it premieres so early (today), but if things get hectic, it’s out.

do not disturb (fox, wednesday 9:30, sept. 10): jerry oconnell and niecy nash run a hotel. i have a slight crush on niecy since i LOVE clean house, and i still remember when JO was on sliders. why don’t they make sweet tv like that anymore? this is a comedy, and i might not even watch it, but that combo is very very interesting.

easy money (cw, sunday 9pm, sept. 21): a hot adopted son looks for his real parents while helping run the family payday loan company. i will watch this b/c the lead guy used to be on roseanne.

valentine (cw, sunday 8pm, sept. 21): a family of greek gods help human soul mates find eachother. this could be really zany, which maybe is a bad thing. but points for creativity? 70% chance i check this out.

fringe **** (fox, tuesday 9pm, sept. 19): joshua jackson aka pacey goes all x-files on us and fights the supernatural. nice to see him doing something of note since dawson’s creek. better than marrying a crazy scientologist.

knight rider (nbc, wednesday 8pm, sept. 24): um. no.

the mentalist **** (cbs, tuesday 9pm, sept. 29): simon baker solves crimes. simon baker is hot. that’s all it takes, people.

life on mars **** (abc, thursday 10pm, oct. 9): cop time travels to the ’70s and must solve crime the old fashioned way. don’t know who the lead is, but lester from the wire and LISA BONET star. LISA BONET. i repeat, LISA BONET. she makes it an automatic must-watch.

kath & kim (nbc, thursday 8:30pm, oct. 9): i want to want to watch this, but i really really really don’t. shoutout to my fellow michigan wolverine selma blair, but i just don’t think i will be able to stomach this.

my own worst enemy (nbc, monday 10pm, oct. 13): christian slater is living a double life. hilarity ensues. remember when he was in bed of roses? yeah, me neither.

that’s around 16 shows i will definitely be watching, 6 i’ll likely check out, and 1 i’ve already dismissed. that’s so much tv, i kind of hope some of those shows get canceled.

if you look at the time slots, i’m also facing places where my tivo double tuner isn’t going to cut it.

tuesday at 9pm has the mentalist, fringe, and privileged competing for my attention. privileged is likely going to be shafted, mostly b/c it doesn’t seem to have any attractive men in it.

the REAL problem is monday at 8pm. here we have gossip girl, terminator, and chuck. ARGH. i think the solution will be to watch GG and terminator on tivo, and then chuck online. sorry chuck. that’s what you get for being ZANY.

one last thing about zaniness: what’s the diff b/w zany and quirky? i think the most important distinction is the reaction shot of the straight man or woman. a zany reaction to absurdity would be wide-eyed disbelief. the quirky response would be an annoyed eyeroll. and if you know anything about me, the eyeroll is a really important expressive tool of my own.

thanks to entertainment weekly for helping me write this blog post. it still took me forever, though.

10 Responses to “ fall tv: the monday 8pm ultimate battle ”

  1. Coop said:

    Is it just me, or is the new batch of shows especially shitty this year? Fringe could be really good, and Life in (veronica) Mars might be alright, but the rest look like garbage to me.

  2. alison said:

    i think this fall season is collateral damage from the writer’s strike. it’s as if a bunch of these shows just had a really long mid-season break, and the networks didn’t bother coming up with new ones. it also seems like the CW is the only network with new shows anyway, which might just speak to the overall health of the cw, but whatever.

    also does the fall season seem to be starting a little later than usual? is it normal to have this many shows premiere in october? seems to butt into november sweeps a bit. maybe i’m way off though.

  3. mike said:

    how about the Shield? I know I told you I would mail you the past 5-6 seasons… forgot sorry… email me your address and ill ship them if you still want them

  4. alison said:

    hmm. the shield. good call, but there’s no way i can catch up to watch the final season in time. not with all the other shows.

  5. allen said:

    I’m with you on Terminator! However, unlike you, I’m actually pretty excited about Knight Rider — but that might be because the original series was my favorite TV show growing up. On the downside, that also means that I’m kind of a purist, so if they get it wrong in trying to update it for the 21st century, I’ll be pretty pissed.

    I stumbled on a show called Hole in the Wall tonight. I don’t know if you’ve seen or heard of it, but basically it consists of people in shiny suits trying to contort their bodies to match an oddly-shaped hole in a rapidly approaching wall. If you fail, you fall in what appears to be a tank of green liquid (or maybe it’s just water with dramatic lighting effects). Sounds really stupid, I know, but I was strangely amused by it.

  6. Russell Heimlich said:

    If there was an Olympic Event for prime time TV marathoning you’d win the gold medal.

  7. alison said:

    if my tv trivia serves me correctly, hole in the wall is a rip off from a japanese ninja warrior-type show. it’s definitely entertaining to watch, but certainly not tivo-worthy. it’s a great show to have on when you have a bunch of random people around and you need to have something that unites the scene. “oh look! japanese people doing weird things!” takes the awkward down a couple notches

  8. Too Much Skunk In Your Junk » i like ‘privileged’; don’t judge me yet said:

    […] privileged is my favorite new show this year. granted, the pickings have been slim, and of the 12 new shows that previously piqued my interest, one has already been canceled (do not disturb), two have been […]

  9. lili said:

    mdr, I Love Véronica Mars

  10. lili said:

    ps : Je parle Français

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