Skunkgal - Too Much Skunk In Your Junk

kwame’s chick speaks

actually, she spoke years ago, but the adoring public just got access to lots more text messages. and i just spent a good hour of my life reading through 18 pages of court documents.

most of the texts are of the “I love you so much” variety (boring, and kind of gross in a not-over-high-school sort of way), but there are highlights. the documents start off talking about kwame and co.’s unseemly political machinations, but no one really cares about that. onto the juicy stuff (starting on page 9, for you following along at home), from most disgusting to saddest:

beatty: “i really wanted to give you some good head this morning and i didn’t know how to ask you to let me do it. i wanted to since last friday when you asked me at the club”

kilpatrick: damn. i just got out of the shower and looked at my two way. next time, just tell me to sit down, shut up and do your thing! i’m fucked up now!

beatty: i know, i’m sorry. i have done that before and i will do it again. i just didn’t want you to be turned off if you weren’t in the mood.

he asked at the club? she’s done it before? oral sex? or in a public place? these text messages need way more clarity. also, does T9 allow you to write “fucked?” i thought it screened out naughty words.

then you have this message sent from husband to cheating wife:

“how is your day? it’s amazing how you can go out of town, come back refreshed and i immediately piss you off … you had an attitude untill KK came over. then you were smiling. wish you smiled at me like that”

who knows if he did anything to drive this woman away, but at the moment of this text message, you can’t help feeling for him.

5 Responses to “ kwame’s chick speaks ”

  1. AK said:

    No no, if you manually type in a dirty word, such as “cock-balls”, your phone will often automatically remember it and store it in the T9 for the next occasion when you need to type “cock-balls”. Which in my case occurs about once every 6.5 hours.

  2. Jess said:

    I can’t tell you how much time this post saved me. Thank you!

  3. Jina said:

    awesome post.

  4. jimmy said:

    what is the proper context for the use of cock-balls. Always looking to expand the vocabulary. And I imagine that somebody as important as the mayor of detroit would have the full on crackberry with the entire keyboard. I’m guessing he’s not rocking the razr or some shit like that. t9’s only for us little people.

  5. alison said:

    good point. in the post itself he says he’s using a two-way, which has a full qwerty keyboard. i should read my own blog from time to time.

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