Skunkgal - Too Much Skunk In Your Junk

a lions game. a broken heart.


a trip to fedex field seemed like a good idea. not so much. some highlights, clearly none from the gameplay itself.

1. it was really hot and humid. apparently it got over 90. unbelievable. it was so hot i couldn’t even bring myself to drink too much booze. considering i saw 2 women pass out at the stadium, that $5 water i bought at halftime was the best investment of the day. it’s october people. GLOBAL WARMING. it’s real.

2. redskins fans really aren’t that bad. i only had a couple hecklers, but i mostly got condolences at the end of the game. and apparently the guy with the megaphone who called me fat, ugly, and slutty got his comeuppance. as one woman who recognized me later told me (i must have one of those memorable faces), “we kicked that drunk fool out. that just isn’t right.” how sweet.

3. because we got upgraded to club seats, we also got to go to the club seats afterparty. this involves cover bands and drunk yuppies awkwardly dancing or watching more football. talked to this 40 year old dude from taylor, mich., about our fantasy teams and did a lot of knuckle punching with despondent lions fans.

4. did you know john fogerty’s “centerfield” is the ultimate white man’s anthem? not only is there no better song to get a mob of middle aged white people with no sense of rhythm onto dance floor, but its lyrics are pretty apropos to the state of white people in major league sports (minus hockey). a whiny punk begging for playing time? of course white people love that song.

after the game, i worked at jcrew for a while (where the AC was broken, of course), then went to the bar for a short bit. if it weren’t for my savvy water consumption, i’d probably be dead right now. i followed it up with 10 hours of sleep. thank god it’s a long weekend.

2 Responses to “ a lions game. a broken heart. ”

  1. J-Ho said:

    Federal holidays are great. I can think of another dozen explorers who deserve their own holidays.

  2. MikeForster said:

    For the record, I’m a white man with no rhythm and I hate that song. I prefer Biz Markie’s classic if I want to dance like a white man.

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