Skunkgal - Too Much Skunk In Your Junk

finding housing should be my job

today, jesse and i realized that we are basically the most awesome roommates ever. we’ve been on an extensive housing search and the clock is quickly ticking toward move-out day at our current place (july 1). we’ve been casting our net wide for a decent two bedroom in the city (northern virginia? ugh) that comes out to be around $1000 a month (per person). this is WAY harder than you can ever imagine.

1st try was saturday, a tiny 2br apartment in a great location. we schmoozed the best we could, but didn’t get the place – didn’t help that there were at least 8 other people looking at the rooms at the same time we were.

discouraged, we went to a sunday open house in the same building, different room ($1,950). someone once told me that if you have to go to an open house in the city as opposed to a private showing, you’ve already lost the game. we went anyway under the assumption that our good looks and winning smiles would get us somewhere. i’d say about 10 people were looking at the same time, and the open house still had three more hours to go. but let me tell you we had our shit together. we had our checkbooks out, we had our info ready, and even better we worked over the apartment manager like it was nobody’s business. we joked and laughed, we told him our plans for the place, all the while the suckers around us saw all their chances slip quickly away. after about 30 min, we left the building with two winks from the manager (both directed at jesse, go figure) and confident the place was OURS.

since i believe in overkill, i had set up another meeting later that day. the place was listed at $2,400, a two bedroom in a not-as-perfect location, but decent from what i can tell from the ad and a better commute for me to work. we get to the building–it’s less than a year old–and we are pretty sure the place is totally out of our league. turns out, it is amazing–in-unit laundry, hardwood floors, nice appliances, a big kitchen countertop, TWO full baths, and one of the rooms has a ginormous walk-in closet. it was just a tease to even show up.
we start talking to the guy who owns the unit, and he asks if we have a car. we don’t, and then he drops this one: no car? well why don’t i drop off a couple hundred bucks off the monthly rent?
i came close to fainting at that point, but i was too busy lunging at the man to grab a rental application. turns out he wants to rent the thing as fast as possible and is willing to give us the place, right then and there. because he supposedly likes us (“you seem like nice people…”), we are also getting the first month free, and can move in at our leisure.

that’s pretty unbelievable, but to top off the day, the guy from the first apartment called us 5 hours after we met him, and offered us that place. i had to turn him down. i think only dc peeps will understand how absurd that is (WHAT POWER). the conclusion of the story is that jesse and i are just the most badass pair that this city has ever witnessed.

and has anyone ever noticed that finding somewhere to live in a tough market is a lot like rushing a sorority. you seek out acceptable apartments, go to crowded open houses, dress up and try to make a good impression, then you hope they choose you to join in their air of exclusivity. if you’re tri-delt quality, you get the nice apartment. if you’re not, you get stuck in a smelly, rat-infested, poorly decorated (sorority) house that i don’t even know your name because you’re so fat/ugly/unimportant.

i just hope this too-good-to-be-true apartment is the real deal. jesse’s absolutely right: we don’t deserve this.

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