Skunkgal - Too Much Skunk In Your Junk

Archive for March, 2007

if i ever wanted my soul to be broken …

i’d want it to be done by journalism.

Published in the winter 2007 volume of Journalism History, “Depression, Drink and Dissipation” finds that almost half of the best people to ever push a noun against a verb in newsprint were debilitated by depression, serious anxiety, or bipolar disorder; over a third were titanic drunks, pill-poppers, or opium-addicts; nearly a third were serial philanderers, and a sizable bunch were misogynists, man-eaters, or violent bullies. In almost every case, the tendency to booze, carouse, or otherwise self-annihilate developed or seriously deepened during their days in journalism.

google elves must talk to the google monkeys more

i don’t know a lot about computers and how the internet works and all that, but i have a way i like to think about it, especially about google.

in my mind, each section of google has different intelligent creatures (probably with opposable thumbs) banging away at keyboards making everything work. recently, my google mail alerts have been getting filtered out by the gmail spam colander.

what the hell. they are e-mails created by google, then filtered out by google. this is what we call inter-departmental communication breakdown. it’s time to hire a consultant.

masturbation follow-up: HOT PICS! XXXXXX

i’m not actually going to post this girl’s pic on my blog b/c even i have standards. but i will link it.

some questions. where was this girl coming from/going to in those shoes? i mean, where did she GO after she was through? wander back to EMU? it’s not exactly close. why pike as opposed to all the other houses around? also, i remember pike having a long ass walkway up to its front door. imagine this girl stumbling up the brick path with just a coat right off washtenaw. the more i think, the more confused i get. PLUS, it was probably cold. she must have had a pretty sweet PCP-jacket on. i couldn’t remember where pike was (1501 washtenaw, b/w south U and hill), but after looking it up it’s really near where i use to live. figures.

anyway, while trying to find pike’s address, i came across this:
Mission: Pi Kappa Alpha is dedicated to developing men of integrity, intellect, and high moral character and to fostering a truly lifelong fraternal experience.
Programs: Pi Kappa Alpha has set the standard for community service, philanthropy, campus involvement, athletics, and risk management and continues to lead the Greek Community in said fields.

risk management? like kicking tattooed, self-pleasuring hyenas out the door?

you know you’ve made it as a journalist …

when your sources start compiling a file on you.

apparently an editor at wired magazine got his hands on the dossier microsoft’s PR firm keeps of him. it’s pretty cool (like seeing what kind of info the FBI has on you), but is more awesome b/c it totally validates this guy’s existence.

i can only hope one day that some evil multi-national thinks i’m important enough to track and analyze. if we could all be so lucky.

"Tour organizers had said the concerts … would go ahead without Dogg"

snoop dogg and diddy are canceling all their british tour dates because snoop couldn’t get a visa. that’s kind of funny in and of itself, but it’s even better when the AP and US news write about it.

1. they refer to snoop as “dogg” in the story. i’m not really sure what ap style is on rappers’ names, but i’m SURE this is wrong. the best rule for writing is to not let it be distracting. i’d say they failed miserably. “mr. dogg, would you like to upgrade to first class?”

2. “diddy” is in quotes in the headline. if “snoop dogg” is OK to stand alone, why not “diddy?” it’s as if diddy is less real than snoop.

3. i bet snoop has a huge file with british FBI (MI-5? i think). put him up there with the UK’s most wanted.

4. and the biggest absurdity of all. diddy is on tour? really?

michigan daily stories make it great to be a michigan wolverine

Masturbating trespasser booted from frat

“While fraternity members were eating in the dining room, a woman entered the house’s living room, took off her clothes and started masturbating, said LSA junior Dan Nye, the president of the Washtenaw Avenue fraternity.

Fraternity members asked the woman to leave the house, but she refused and continued masturbating for about half an hour, Nye said.

The woman told fraternity members that her name was Melissa and she was a student at Eastern Michigan University, according to the police report.
Fraternity members said they will throw out two couches in the living room because of the incident, Nye said.”

by far the best part of this story is that this woman said she went to EMU. as if that’d make it ok?

Bar fight leaves student in custody, cop bloodied

“Yops began yelling at a group of people that included football players Jake Long and Garrett Rivas, calling them “third-string English majors,” Peters said.”

i can’t say anything more about these stories that haven’t been taken care of in the comments sections. i love community journalism/commentary.

the running of the yuppies

after making the unwise decision to go drink and watch the georgetown game in georgetown, i got to witness the euphoria of victory mixed with youthful exuberance mixed with beer all neatly dressed in pearls and popped collars.

lamest riot ever

i saw "sobriety" in my news feed and thought that would be a funny story.

boy was i wrong.

“From sobriety, an ugly secret emerges:
Drink couldn’t make a man forget what he had done to an O.C. woman in 1987. Eventually his conscience drove him to a life-altering decision.”