Skunkgal - Too Much Skunk In Your Junk

Archive for December, 2006

the cocaine in spain is snorted mainly on the plain

ok, that’s not really true, but spain apparently has the highest reported cocaine usage, and as proof, a report shows that 94% of spanish banknotes have traces of cocaine.

in other news, 6,000 migrants died at sea this year trying to get into spain.

connection? anyone?

1913-2006

Henry Kissinger:

“The modern politician is less interested in being a hero than a superstar. Heroes walk alone; stars derive their status from approbation. Heroes are defined by inner values, stars by consensus. When a candidate’s views are forged in focus groups and ratified by television anchorpersons, insecurity and superficiality become congenital. Radicalism replaces liberalism, and populism masquerades as conservatism.”

If anything, Gerald Ford was no superstar. Just what the doctor ordered.

“I believe that truth is the glue that holds government together, not only our government, but civilization itself.” – Gerald R. Ford, Jr.

i kind of feel like joel zumaya

except, you know, not good at baseball. or even able to play baseball.

zumaya and i have a cosmic connection because of our mutual love of Guitar Hero. it caused him to miss the ALCS … and my wrist hurts so bad i can barely blog.

the freep calls guitar hero a “PlayStation 2 game in which a player uses a guitar-shaped controller to simulate the performance of popular songs.” i call it electronic heroin. irresistible.

merry christmas to me

$98 for roundtrip airfare from DC to Detroit in february. that’s friggin amazing. this means 1 thing.

no one has any excuse for not coming to see me. if it’s so friggin cheap, why aren’t you visiting me in the gayborhood? and why aren’t we all re-creating the 8th grade trip? and why, as long as we’re asking questions, does joe pesci look so ridiculous in his role in “the good sheperd”? why why why.

sex addiction

hillary clinton says billy boy has gotten treatment for sex addiction.

let us all reflect on this fact. the former president of the united states of america has a sex addiction. i’m not talking about usher or tara conner (see below), but it’s the president. i’m pretty sure it makes our country pretty cool.

looking into the future, do you think bill is going to talk about this at commencement? talk about a captive audience.

if you thought push-up bras were tricky

check this puppy out.

as flat as my ass is, i don’t think i could ever bring myself to wear this. i mean, if someone sexually harasses you and pats you on the ass, you’d have no idea it ever happened. plus the dude who tried for a handful would know something was up. not that he’d ever tell. “hey, remember when i grabbed your butt and came up with a handful of foam padding? yeah, that was funny …”

this would never happen to miss america

miss usa, a coke-snorting whore?

i didn’t know this was what she looked like when i first heard the story. at first i was shocked. not so much anymore.

she looks like a porn star.

this is no one’s fault except for the people who chose her to win.

"C" is the loneliest letter

it’s aktually not lonely, but it’s definitely the most worthless. think about. its primary sound is aktually the “K” and one of its sekondary sounds is really just an “S.” the only unique sound “C” makes is the “ch,” but i propose we get rid of it all together and just use “sh” instead of “ch.” so: shikkity shina, the shinese shikken. musik to my ears.